The chart illustrates the total minutes that the British use telephone call between 1995 to 2002 in three types including Local - fixed line, national and international - fixed line, and mobiles.

The chart illustrates the total minutes that the British use telephone call between 1995 to 2002 in three types including Local - fixed line, national and international - fixed line, and mobiles.
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This
Linking Words
bar chart displays the sum of calls by telephone from 1995 to 2002. The usage in three different groups, the fixed
line
Use synonyms
in local, national and global, and mobile calls. It is clear from the graph that the local fixed
line
Use synonyms
is the most consuming one during the period.
According to
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what is shown, the fixed
line
Use synonyms
which is the local one, was increasing by millions from 70 to 90. From 1996 to 1999, as is despite in the figure, it was steady.
However
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, the following year, it decreased to 85, and it remained declining until 2002.
While
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the national and international fixed boundary was
rasing
Correct your spelling
raising
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in a regular pattern over the 7 years. The
last
Linking Words
group which is the cell phone , started to increase by a
little
Correct word choice
small
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percentage and
was
Verb problem
apply
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dramatically
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
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in the
last
Linking Words
three years 2000 to 2002.
To sum up
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we could say,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
national and global fixed
line
Use synonyms
and mobile calls have increased all the years.
Submitted by balqassab3 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words line with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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