IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

some epople think pollution and damage of environment are resulted from a country developing. to what extent do you agree or disagree

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There is a common view that
due to
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 the country's evolution, deterioration and environmental extermination have been increasing. The writer agrees with
this
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 notion because there is more growth in building an infrastructure of a particular country
along with
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 transportation in modern society. When it comes to the infection rising in the earth, a commercial area is known to cause it.
That is
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 to say, in a modernized country, constructing a lot of high buildings in a specific area is a fundamental element,
this
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 situation gives rise to the cutting of plants down to open more space with add more accommodations purpose.
As a result
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, it engenders the reduction of trees which absorb the dioxide and produce oxygen making the air fresher in order to help humans with breathing. Another noticeable reason is how moving on the street by individual freight too much
also
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 enhances the pollution in the environment. To put it simply, nowadays people are more like to use their own influx to get around to save time movement which is attributed to being richer each person in the contemporary era. In the long run, the problem of air pollution will spread if the gridlock still be utilised across the board. In conclusion,
this
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 point of view is true because of not only the happen of residential areas but
also
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 the more driving shipment of temporary people
following
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this
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 century.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a decent introduction and conclusion, but the logical structure could be clearer. Try to organize your points more sequentially. For example, use paragraphs to separate different points and ensure each paragraph discusses one main idea.
task achievement
Some of your ideas are not fully developed or clearly articulated. Make sure to elaborate on your points and provide detailed explanations or examples where necessary. This will make your arguments more compelling and clear.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but could be more specific. For instance, mention particular cases of urbanization or specific types of pollution caused by transportation to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and present valid points for discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, giving a clear statement of your stance and summarizing the main points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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