As technology advances travelling to space is likely to become an option for Holidaymakers in the future. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

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The advancement in technology may create opportunities for
holidaymakes
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holidaymakers
holiday makes
to allow people to travel
space
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as a vacation. As there are plenty of advantages and disadvantages that
needs
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need
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to be addressed here, using
this
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essay I would present reasoning and examples to support the same.
Space
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tourism
Use synonyms
has multiple advantages with the rise of advancement in technology.
Firstly
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, it would allow students and children to think about the stars and extra-terrestrial things, leading to advancement in Physics and astronomy opportunities.
Secondly
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,
space
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tourism
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was a dream for everyone,
this
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tourism
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would
completing
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complete
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their dream.
For instance
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, my mother used to read about physics and
astronoical
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astronomical
things, if she was able to travel in
space
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it would be a surreal experience for her.
Thirdly
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, It might create a solution for
earth's
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the earth's
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overpopulation.
However
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, multiple
oppotunities
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opportunities
and advantages
comes
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come
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with a
little
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few
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disadvantages. To address
this
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, multiple
space
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tourism
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would become a leading cause of
polution
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pollution
due to
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use
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the use
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of excessive oil, resulting in
rise
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a rise
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in global warming in the upcoming year.
Furthermore
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,
these
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this tourism
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tourism
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would indirectly
might
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apply
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lead to
increase
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an increase
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in inflation and create a difference between wealthy and poor people. In conclusion,
space
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tourism
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a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
beneficial opportunity.
However
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, the disadvantages
needs
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need
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to be
address
Wrong verb form
addressed
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priorly and add new policies addressing these
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
.
Otherwise
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,
this
Linking Words
space
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tourism
Use synonyms
would be
disasterous
Correct your spelling
disastrous
.

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grammar vocabulary
The essay needs some grammatical corrections and more complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and sophistication.
examples
Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. This will make your argument more persuasive.
idea elaboration
Ensure that each point is fully elaborated and connected to the main thesis of the essay. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your argument.
task response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of space tourism, showing an understanding of the topic.
structure
The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
relevance
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and show insight into potential benefits and problems.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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