As technology advances travelling to space is likely to become an option for Holidaymakers in the future. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

#technology #advances #space #option #holidaymakers #future #tourism

The advancement in technology may create opportunities for

holidaymakes

Correct your spelling

holidaymakers

holiday makes

to allow people to travel

space

as a vacation. As there are plenty of advantages and disadvantages that

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

to be addressed here, using

this

essay I would present reasoning and examples to support the same.

Space

tourism

has multiple advantages with the rise of advancement in technology.

Firstly

, it would allow students and children to think about the stars and extra-terrestrial things, leading to advancement in Physics and astronomy opportunities.

Secondly

space

tourism

was a dream for everyone,

this

tourism

would

completing

Wrong verb form

complete

show examples

their dream.

For instance

, my mother used to read about physics and

astronoical

Correct your spelling

astronomical

things, if she was able to travel in

space

it would be a surreal experience for her.

Thirdly

, It might create a solution for

earth's

Correct article usage

the earth's

show examples

overpopulation.

However

, multiple

oppotunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

and advantages

comes

Change the verb form

come

show examples

with a

little

Correct quantifier usage

few

show examples

disadvantages. To address

this

, multiple

space

tourism

would become a leading cause of

polution

Correct your spelling

pollution

due to

use

Correct article usage

the use

show examples

of excessive oil, resulting in

rise

Add an article

a rise

show examples

in global warming in the upcoming year.

Furthermore

these

Change the determiner

this tourism

show examples

tourism

would indirectly

might

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

lead to

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

in inflation and create a difference between wealthy and poor people. In conclusion,

space

tourism

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

beneficial opportunity.

However

, the disadvantages

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

to be

address

Wrong verb form

addressed

show examples

priorly and add new policies addressing these

concern

Fix the agreement mistake

concerns

show examples

Otherwise

this

space

tourism

would be

disasterous

Correct your spelling

disastrous

Submitted by nick on Tue May 28 2024

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grammar vocabulary

The essay needs some grammatical corrections and more complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and sophistication.

examples

Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. This will make your argument more persuasive.

idea elaboration

Ensure that each point is fully elaborated and connected to the main thesis of the essay. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your argument.

task response

The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of space tourism, showing an understanding of the topic.

structure

The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

relevance

The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and show insight into potential benefits and problems.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

219 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As technology advances travelling to space is likely to become an option for Holidaymakers in the future. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

Fully explain your ideas

The number of old people is increasing in many countries. Some people think this causes problems, whilst other people think that old people have an important role to play. How far do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?