As technology advances travelling to space is likely to become an option for Holidaymakers in the future. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

The advancement in technology may create opportunities for
holidaymakes
Correct your spelling
holidaymakers
holiday makes
to allow people to travel
space
as a vacation. As there are plenty of advantages and disadvantages that
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to be addressed here, using
this
essay I would present reasoning and examples to support the same.
Space
tourism
has multiple advantages with the rise of advancement in technology.
Firstly
, it would allow students and children to think about the stars and extra-terrestrial things, leading to advancement in Physics and astronomy opportunities.
Secondly
,
space
tourism
was a dream for everyone,
this
tourism
would
completing
Wrong verb form
complete
show examples
their dream.
For instance
, my mother used to read about physics and
astronoical
Correct your spelling
astronomical
things, if she was able to travel in
space
it would be a surreal experience for her.
Thirdly
, It might create a solution for
earth's
Correct article usage
the earth's
show examples
overpopulation.
However
, multiple
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
and advantages
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
with a
little
Correct quantifier usage
few
show examples
disadvantages. To address
this
, multiple
space
tourism
would become a leading cause of
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
due to
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of excessive oil, resulting in
rise
Add an article
a rise
show examples
in global warming in the upcoming year.
Furthermore
,
these
Change the determiner
this tourism
show examples
tourism
would indirectly
might
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
in inflation and create a difference between wealthy and poor people. In conclusion,
space
tourism
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
beneficial opportunity.
However
, the disadvantages
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to be
address
Wrong verb form
addressed
show examples
priorly and add new policies addressing these
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
.
Otherwise
,
this
space
tourism
would be
disasterous
Correct your spelling
disastrous
.
Submitted by nick on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar vocabulary
The essay needs some grammatical corrections and more complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and sophistication.
examples
Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. This will make your argument more persuasive.
idea elaboration
Ensure that each point is fully elaborated and connected to the main thesis of the essay. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your argument.
task response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of space tourism, showing an understanding of the topic.
structure
The structure of the essay is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
relevance
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and show insight into potential benefits and problems.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!