IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #visitors #four #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given graph illustrates how many
visitors
 choose the museums which are from four different cities between 1980 and 2015 . As is observed from the graph,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of the
visitors
Change preposition
to
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 museums increased over the
time
 period but one of them decreased and the other one remained fairly unchanged.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
visitors
Change preposition
to
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the Vatican
show examples
Vatican
Correct article usage
the Vatican
show examples
 Museum rose sharply
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 4,5 million in 1980 and 9 million in 2015.
Although
 it was almost
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 level, Louvre saw
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
number
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors
 which was
approxiametly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 9,5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015. London Science Museum which was famous in 1980 saw a downward trend. Indeed ,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
visitors
 was 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
time
 period but it was relatively stable during the five years and
then
 it saw
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 lowest level which was almost 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2015.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Shenzhen Museum fluctuated over the
time
 period.
However
, it was just under 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 both in the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 and ending of the
time
 periods.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, number, time, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: