IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

#tourism #benefit #places #time #concern #impact #inhabitants #environment
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It is true that the global
tourism
 industry can have both positive and negative impacts on people and places.
However
, I would argue that the positives far outweigh the negatives. On the one hand, international
tourism
 can sometimes be detrimental to local residents and the natural environment in tourist areas. Locals may suffer as prices, for everything from property to goods and services, become hugely inflated.
This
 is certainly the case in popular city destinations like London and Paris, where the high cost of living means that many residents are forced to move out to the suburbs. Wild animals may
also
 be pushed out of their natural habitats by
tourism
.
For example
, tourists from across the world visit the Hawaiian Islands to go whale watching, but these boat trips have been linked with a decline in native dolphin populations.
However
, I believe that the advantages of global
tourism
 more than compensate for the problems described above. Tourists who are able to afford overseas holidays tend to spend significant amounts of money on goods and services,
such
 as food, accommodation and entertainment.
This
 activity creates employment opportunities for local residents, who are likely to see their quality of life improve rather than decline. With regard to the environment, the revenue from visitors can be used to protect wild animals and areas of natural beauty.
This
 is what happens in countries like Kenya, where the income from safari
tourism
 funds various national parks, nature reserves and a wildlife protection service. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential benefits of international
tourism
 are much more significant than the drawbacks.
Submitted by josephpilgrimhuang on

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task achievement
Consider adding a couple more linked examples or data to bolster your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to use even more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps convey your arguments effectively.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as tourism in London, Paris, and Hawaii, and the safari tourism in Kenya, support your main points well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enormous benefit
  • impact
  • local inhabitants
  • environment
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • advantages
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • promotion
  • local products
  • environmental impact
  • exploitation
  • resources
  • cultural erosion
  • increased cost of living
  • overcrowding
  • congestion
  • balancing
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
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