In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Before continuing studies in
the
college, some countries suggest Correct article usage
apply
young
generation Correct article usage
the young
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
work
or travel for a year. It can Use synonyms
affect
several benefits for young people Verb problem
have
such
as having a lot of experiences and financial Linking Words
independents
, but it can not be denied that it Fix the agreement mistake
independence
also
can lead Linking Words
negative
effects Change preposition
to negative
such
as insecurities and Linking Words
stuck
Add a missing verb
being stuck
with
the comfort zone in Change preposition
in
work
life. Both views will be elaborated below.
To commence with, teenagers who choose to have a career or travel before joining the educational institution will have more Use synonyms
experiences
. As an example, Fix the agreement mistake
experience
the
individuals who desire to pursue Correct article usage
apply
bachelor’s
degree in social studies and take Correct article usage
a bachelor’s
a
part in charity foundations will know more about the latest social problems. Correct article usage
apply
This
activity will make it easier to write down the thesis in the Linking Words
last
semester. Another advantage is Linking Words
the
teenagers can Correct your spelling
that
also
be financially freedom because they can get paid or Linking Words
sallary
before going to campus. The teens do not need to ask their parents to pay Correct your spelling
salary
their
needs Change preposition
for their
such
as Linking Words
book
and Fix the agreement mistake
books
laptop
because they can utilize their money to buy all their Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
necessaries
.
Replace the word
necessities
On the contrary
, the people who Linking Words
work
first before chasing Use synonyms
the
Change the word
their
study
usually have Fix the agreement mistake
studies
an
insecurity since they have seen their friends getting ahead. Correct article usage
apply
Besides
, they tend to have Linking Words
same
phase Change the article
the same
with
other friends. As a matter of fact, in Change preposition
as
psychology
field, there is a term “Fear of Missing Out or FOMO” to illustrate the condition of Add an article
the psychology
young
generation in the recent era. Correct article usage
the young
In addition
, another drawback is sometimes Linking Words
the
teenagers Correct article usage
apply
stuck
Add a missing verb
are stuck
with
Change preposition
in
the
comfort zone in Change the word
their
the
Change the word
their
work
life Use synonyms
as well as
forget their dreams or goals. Linking Words
For instance
, the person intends Linking Words
working
to pay for campus administration fees but Change the verb form
to work
Linking Words
finally
until 2-5 years the individual still being an Add a comma
finally,
employeer
.
Correct your spelling
employer
employee
To sum up
, working before joining a college Linking Words
have
positive and negative impacts. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
For
the positive one, Change preposition
On
the
people can have experiences and financial Correct article usage
apply
independent
Replace the word
independence
while
Linking Words
negative
sides are insecurities and Correct article usage
the negative
stuck
in comfort zones. In the end, the writer suggests that it will be better for Add a missing verb
being stuck
the
individuals to give serious Correct article usage
apply
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
for
Change preposition
to
our
decisions.Correct pronoun usage
their
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task achievement
Your essay does well in addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, thus meeting the task requirements. However, it might benefit from a clearer articulation of ideas and more logical flow between points.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using transition words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to another. This will also enhance your essay's overall coherence and cohesion.
language accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. More careful proofreading will help improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples which strengthen your arguments, such as the mention of social studies and FOMO.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing your argument well.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?