Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternative ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
people
suppose that longer jail time is the most effective Use synonyms
way
to prevent those potential Use synonyms
criminals
from committing Use synonyms
crimes
; Use synonyms
however
, some other Linking Words
people
suppose that there are alternative methods to decrease Use synonyms
crime
rates. In my opinion, it depends on the type of Use synonyms
crime
, and I believe that there are other alternative ways that could Use synonyms
also
deter Linking Words
crime
.
Most Use synonyms
people
believe that the stricter punishments are implemented, the fewer Use synonyms
crimes
are committed. Use synonyms
However
, it only works on some Linking Words
criminals
who commit Use synonyms
crimes
rationally. Use synonyms
For example
, some scammers calculate the benefits and the costs they would get in Linking Words
crimes
. If there are longer prison Use synonyms
sentences
for fraud, those scammers might stop the Use synonyms
crimes
by considering the consequences. Use synonyms
On the contrary
, in some cases, those emotional Linking Words
criminals
actually know the Use synonyms
sentences
they would face before committing Use synonyms
crimes
, but they just cannot stop themselves because of their impulses or furious feelings. For these kinds of Use synonyms
criminals
, even the hardest penalty might be useless.
Use synonyms
Therefore
, longer prison Linking Words
sentences
are not the best Use synonyms
way
and the only Use synonyms
way
to decrease Use synonyms
crimes
. There are still other methods that could help prevent citizens from doing illegal stuff. Use synonyms
Firstly
, deploying more police on the street could break the plans of those Linking Words
criminals
, and it could be more efficient than longer jail time. Use synonyms
Secondly
, setting more monitors in the community could Linking Words
also
warn potential Linking Words
criminals
not to commit Use synonyms
crimes
. If it is much easier to be arrested, those Use synonyms
people
might decide to cancel their plans of Use synonyms
crime
. Use synonyms
Finally
, the government should care more about the mental health of citizens to prevent them from losing their minds and committing Linking Words
crimes
.
Use synonyms
At the end
of the day, longer prison Linking Words
sentences
are not the best Use synonyms
way
to decrease Use synonyms
crime
rates, and other methods should Use synonyms
also
be developed.Linking Words
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task achievement
Expand on your opinion more explicitly to make it clearer to the reader where you stand. While you mentioned that the effectiveness of prison sentences depends on the type of crime, your stance could be more definitively clarified and supported.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to improve flow. Sometimes, the jump from one point to another can feel abrupt. Using transitional words and phrases could help enhance coherence.
task achievement
While you have introduced several ideas and examples, try to expand on them with further elaboration and specific details to strengthen the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay covers various perspectives and provides relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your arguments are mostly clear and well-organized. The logical structure makes it easy to follow your thoughts.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example