IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to the Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The chart show the result of a survey asking visitors how satisfied they are with their visit during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to the Ashdown museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The chart show the result of a survey asking visitors how satisfied they are with their visit during the same two periods.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #survey #visit #two #periods
The following table and pie chart illustrate how many people
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 Ashdown
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 before and after renovation
along with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how
satisfy
Change the form of the verb
satisfied
show examples
 they are with the result of
this
site
Change noun form
site's
show examples
 modernization.
Overall
, the number of visitors soar after the
museum
 has been refurbished.
This
 is in line with the rise of their satisfaction towards the new face of the
museum
. In detail, there is a huge increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 total
tourists
Correct quantifier usage
number of tourists
show examples
 after
Ashdown
Correct article usage
the Ashdown
show examples
Museum
 has been modernized. It is about a quarter higher compared to the number of tourists it had before refurbishment. Meanwhile, among
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those people, the percentage of visitors who
was very satisfy
Change the verb form
was very satisfied
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 strolling around the
museum
 was just 15%, but it
increases
Wrong verb form
has increased
show examples
 to 35% nowadays because of the
museum
 renovation.
In addition
, people who moderately satisfied
is
Change the verb form
is also risen
show examples
also
 rise by 10%.
However
, there is a plunge
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the dissatisfied portion which
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 by 25%,
Submitted by srsdy008 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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