Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#government #money #railways #roads

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People

Use synonyms

strongly believe that government should invest more money in

railways

Use synonyms

than in road systems. From my perspective, the railway

as well as

Linking Words

the road networks play an

equal

Change the adjective

equally

show examples

vital role.

To begin

Linking Words

with, I would like to discuss the three primary reasons why I agree spending more money on

railways

Use synonyms

is a judicious decision. First of all,

railways

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

one of

common

Add an article

the common

show examples

public

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

which every government wants to develop

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

in order to ensure their domestic traffic is more efficient and convenient. Building more

railways

Use synonyms

helps citizens

Verb problem

apply

show examples

limit

many

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

private

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

causing a lot of accidents and traffic jams.

Secondly

Linking Words

, a country having fewer personal vehicles like motorbikes,

cars

Correct word choice

and cars

show examples

,… which can

prevent

Verb problem

protect

show examples

its environment from some pollutions

such

Linking Words

as air pollution, noise pollution, carbon emissions,… because

road

Correct article usage

the road

show examples

system contributes as the core reason for

environmentally

Add an article

the environmentally

show examples

contaminating increase.

Finally

Linking Words

, travelling by

Use synonyms

railways

Fix the agreement mistake

railway

show examples

allows

people

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to pay off less money than other individual vehicles.

For example

Linking Words

, driving a car lets them waste some additional expenses for gas, taxes,

vehicles insurances

Fix the agreement mistake

vehicle insurance

show examples

car

Correct word choice

and car

show examples

maintaining

Replace the word

maintenance

show examples

fees,…

Next,

Linking Words

I would like to discuss the two fundamental reasons why I disagree

that

Change preposition

with

show examples

prioritizing investing

Use synonyms

railways

Change preposition

in railways

show examples

rather than roads.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is impossible and inflexible to use public means of transportation in a short or remote distance.

Furthermore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

take a quite long time to wait for their turn

instead

Linking Words

of leaving immediately.

Secondly

Linking Words

, in several Asian countries, especially Vietnam, both cars and motorbikes have created many job opportunities for local residents through being

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technological freelancer

driver

Fix the agreement mistake

drivers

show examples

. In conclusion, a government should expand

railways

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to provide transportation development for

people

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, it needs to be considered thoroughly that the areas are appropriate for rail

networks

Change the noun form

network

show examples

construction.

Submitted by thanhngannguyenlam on Tue May 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure all main points are thoroughly developed with relevant, specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

While presenting both sides of the argument is valuable, try to provide a clearer stance or balance within your discussion to add more depth.

coherence cohesion

Make use of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your arguments and to make transitions smoother.

coherence cohesion

Consider refining your conclusion to more decisively reflect the arguments made in your essay.

task achievement

The introduction concisely presents the main topic and your balanced perspective.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is maintained with clear signposting words like "To begin with" and "Next." This helps in guiding the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

You provide multiple perspectives which show a balanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainability
environmental footprint
efficiency
pollution
cost-effectiveness
economic development
accessibility
public transportation
congestion
air pollution
initial investment
maintenance
upgrades
rural
urban
last-mile connectivity

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Include an introduction and conclusion

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In many countries, people watch many foreign made television programs and Internet videos. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?