Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.

Learning a foreign
language
creates a lot of opportunities for all
people
.
However
, some
people
believe that only benefits their overseas travelling or
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
,
while
others argue that
language
acquisition has no limitations to its advantages. From my point of view, both of the above opinions are seriously appreciated agreeing.
To begin
with, I would like to discuss the three primary reasons why I agree foreign languages only help
people
to go and work
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
. First of all, understanding another
language
is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
effective means to communicate,
convey
Correct word choice
and convey
show examples
their thoughts, awareness and viewpoints.
For instance
,
someone
Correct word choice
if someone
show examples
is travelling to
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
place where native speakers almost use English, travellers should learn a second
language
like English to use in any essential circumstances
such
as getting lost, buying something,
asking
Correct word choice
or asking
show examples
Change preposition
for direction
show examples
direction
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
show examples
,…
Secondly
, a new
language
opens a new door, which means
people
can cultivate their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
with other cultures and lifestyles around the world. As an example, if someone wants to work or study overseas, they need to integrate into another local custom.
Finally
, being
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
bilingual helps
people
gain more chances to connect and expand their international
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
, simultaneously,
reach to
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
the highest professional workplace.
Next,
I would like to discuss the two fundamental reasons why I disagree that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
or working in a foreign country is the only reason for
people
to study a second
language
.
First,
to
boarden
Correct your spelling
broaden
the knowledge, they
also
master
ither
Correct your spelling
another
foreign
language
because nowadays
people
not only graduate from a high school or a university
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
continue achieving
Add an article
a master
show examples
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
degree, Doctor of Philosophy,…
Thus
, the mass of knowledge is capable of reading books,
listening
Correct word choice
and listening
show examples
videos
Change preposition
to videos
show examples
,… which are used in various languages.
Finally
, It is evident that a developing country which has more citizens being able to speak a second
language
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
more wealthy and advanced. In conclusion, acquiring a new
language
fosters a variety of positive aspects and values.
Submitted by thanhngannguyenlam on

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task achievement
While the essay covers the relevant points, it lacks depth in exploring reasons beyond work and travel for learning a foreign language. Expanding on additional motivations could strengthen your response.
task achievement
The essay occasionally goes off-topic, especially when discussing higher education degrees. Staying more closely focused on the topic would improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow is generally good, but there are areas where the argument could be better structured. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point that ties back to the essay question.
coherence cohesion
The use of linking words is somewhat limited. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices can improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, making the essay easy to follow from start to finish.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate the points being made, making the ideas more concrete.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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