The picture shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Overall
, when people throw away the used
cans
in the trash. The car that takes away the
cans
will come to recycle it.
Then
, the
cans
will be cleaned,
sort
Wrong verb form
sorted
show examples
,
shred
Wrong verb form
shredded
show examples
, and
compress
Wrong verb form
compressed
show examples
in the
machine
. After it was put in the
machine
, it was heated and melted to turn into a
roll
again.
Then
, the rolling will stick to the
cans
, and the
cans
are reused.
First,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people throw away the used
cans
in the trash for recycling.
Second,
the car will come to take away the used
cans
for putting in the
machine
. The
cans
are
then
put in the
machine
for cleaning, sorting, shredding, and compressing.
Third,
the
cans
will be heated and melted to turn into a
roll
. The
roll
should be 2.5mm to 6mm thick.
Then
, the
roll
will be stuck around the
cans
that are recycled.
Finally
, the recycled
cans
will be reused for selling again in the supermarket. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
74
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
cans
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are recycled in the UK.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a good overview of the recycling process and includes most of the main steps. However, the sequence of steps could be more clearly described. Consider organizing the steps more systematically and ensuring clarity in the process sequence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more engaging and informative. A concise introduction highlighting the importance of recycling and a concluding sentence summarizing the process would improve the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific details about the recycling process, such as the thickness of the roll that the cans are turned into.
task achievement
Each stage of the recycling process is mentioned, providing a comprehensive overview of the process.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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