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Writing Samples /
Band 4

The picture shows the recycling process of aluminium cans Summarise the information by choosing and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#picture #process #aluminium #cans #summarise #information #features #comparisons
Overall
, when people throw away the used
cans
 in the trash. The car that takes away the
cans
 will come to recycle
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Then
, the
cans
 will be cleaned, sorted, shredded, and compressed in the
machine
. After it was put in the
machine
, it was heated and melted to turn into a
roll
 again.
Then
, the rolling will stick to the
cans
, and the
cans
 are reused. First, people throw away the used
cans
 in the trash for recycling.
Second,
the car will come to take away the used
cans
 for putting in the
machine
. The
cans
 are
then
 put in the
machine
 for cleaning, sorting, shredding, and compressing.
Third,
the
cans
 will be heated and melted to turn into a
roll
. The
roll
 should be 2.5mm to 6mm thick.
Then
, the
roll
 will be stuck around the
cans
 that are recycled.
Finally
, the recycled
cans
 will be reused for selling again in the supermarket. There is 74 per cent of
cans
 are recycled in the UK.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear description of the recycling process. However, it could be enhanced with a more comprehensive explanation and by providing specific details in some areas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of the same information. For example, the first and second paragraphs provide similar details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but including an introduction and a clearer conclusion will help. Clearly separating the main processes and their significance will also improve the overall flow.
Task Achievement
The main steps of the recycling process are accurately described, showing a good understanding of the visual information.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a logical order, making it relatively easy to follow the process described.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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