The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?
The
internet
has significiantly
changed our lives recently. some of these changes are negative , Correct your spelling
significantly
while
at
the whole almost most of these changes Change preposition
on
is
positive.
Change the verb form
are
it is clear that
,
the Remove the comma
apply
internet
has nagative
points in society , Correct your spelling
negative
such
as addicting
to the Replace the word
addiction
internet
that it
leads to Correct pronoun usage
which
healthy
Replace the word
health
problems
to mention
Verb problem
apply
some
, Correct quantifier usage
apply
Change preposition
including eyes
eyes
Change the noun form
eye
problems
and physical problems
. because many people
sit still for hours and look at the phone. furthermore
, all of things
that there are Add an article
the things
in
Change preposition
on
the
social media are not correct and in terms of mental , it can Correct article usage
apply
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
of
fear among Change preposition
apply
people
specially
children Replace the word
especially
as well as
old people
.
Although
the internet
has positive and negative effects on our lives , the positive impacts are more than Correct article usage
the nagative
nagative
impacts. Correct your spelling
negative
furthure
, we can decide how to use from that ourselves. Correct your spelling
further
future
Hence
, we can control in positive
path. since the Add an article
a positive
internet
create
Change the verb form
creates
for
improvement Change preposition
apply
due to
better lives. as
a result governments should increase that Capitalize word
As
according to
essential needs. on the ground that most advertisements depend on internet
and it must not Add an article
the internet
distrupt
.
in my opinion , Correct your spelling
disrupt
internet
and social media are important for communication and technology. it can develop our communication attitude obviously. as we can communicate with all of Correct article usage
the internet
people
in every point of Add an article
the people
world
. but I can not ignore the negative effects on daily routines because we spend most of Add an article
the world
Correct pronoun usage
our times
times
on the Fix the agreement mistake
time
internet
that it causes problems
specially
for kids. Replace the word
especially
to
be honest , it is Capitalize word
To
parent's
duty that control Correct article usage
the parent's
this
situation.
in conclusion , like everything the internet
has positive and negative points. but it depends on us that use the internet
for our improvement for
having Change preposition
to
better
society .Add an article
a better
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Try to create clear and smooth transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow. Explicitly stating the main points in each paragraph will make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both positive and negative impacts of the internet. To increase clarity, provide more specific examples and expand on them. This would make your arguments more convincing and complete.
General
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and typos. Improving your sentence structure and punctuation will enhance the readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have managed to address both the positive and negative impacts of the internet, and you provided a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion that encapsulates your main arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.