Some people believe that success is about hard work and determination. Others think that success has a connection with money and personal appearance. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. (Steve no copyright)

#people #success #work #determination #connection #money #appearance #steve #copyright

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In today’s society, there

two

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are two

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various views in relation to triumph.

While

Linking Words

some individuals think that

success

Use synonyms

is related to hard work and determination others opine that

success

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has a connection with wealth and personal features. In my opinion, the first viewpoint contains some more inherent advantages than the latter one. The biggest virtue is that everyone must try to be

determind

Correct your spelling

determined

complate

Correct your spelling

complete

any task he starts, even when things get tough he never gives up, if the person improves his personal skills.

For instance

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this

Linking Words

determination makes him hard-working and causes

Correct pronoun usage

him to

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set high goals for himself in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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life.

Linking Words

Additionally

Add a comma

Additionally,

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you can

creat

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create

show examples

the

Correct article usage

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life which is full of

with

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apply

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your achievements. In short, all people and you are proud of yourself because of your effort and

success

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. On the flip side, some of the advantages of money and personal appearance can turn out to be disadvantages if someone cannot raise his personal skills.

For example

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, having

affluent

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an affluent

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family cannot cause

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

you

get

Fix the infinitive

to get

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a high score in your exams

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show examples

the university.

Furthermore

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, if you only depend on money and personal appearance, you definitely will be lazy. Because you never try in order to achieve

Fix the infinitive

apply

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triumph by personal skill.

In contrast

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, you tend to spend money

for

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show examples

everything you need without any try. In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of the

argumets

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arguments

argument

it is not hard to see that

Remove the article

apply

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real

success

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is built

according to

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effort and

persistance

Correct your spelling

persistence

by personal skills.

However

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, wealth and personal features are only able to provide a negligible number of

economical

Replace the word

economic

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and social facilities.

Submitted by hs.abdolhay70 on Wed May 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure that your ideas are clearly and comprehensively expressed. Some sentences are a bit unclear and could be rephrased for better understanding.

relevant specific examples

When presenting support for your arguments, try to provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your points.

logical structure

Ensure the logical structure of your essay is coherent. Some transitions between ideas are abrupt and can be smoothed out for better flow.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are both present and well-defined, setting the context and summarizing the points effectively.

complete response

The essay broadly covers both views on success, providing a fair and balanced discussion.

supported main points

Your main points are supported and not left hanging, giving overall coherence to the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Some people believe that success is about hard work and determination. Others think that success has a connection with money and personal appearance. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. (Steve no copyright)

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. *What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? *What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?

Some people prefer to get up early and work in the morning. Others prefer to get up late and work until late at night. What do you prefer. Give reasons and examples to support your opinion

Nowadays many people work part or full time from home. Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some say that the best way to help poor countries is financial aids. Other say other forms of aid should be given. Discuss both views and give your opinion

You have recently moved to a different house, and you want to give the news to an English-speaking friend who lives in another country. Write a letter to this English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have moved describe the new house invite your friend to come and visit you

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?