Some people believe that success is about hard work and determination. Others think that success has a connection with money and personal appearance. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. (Steve no copyright)
In today’s society, there
two
various views in relation to triumph. Add a missing verb
are two
While
some individuals think that success
is related to hard work and determination others opine that success
has a connection with wealth and personal features. In my opinion, the first viewpoint contains some more inherent advantages than the latter one.
The biggest virtue is that everyone must try to be determind
to Correct your spelling
determined
complate
any task he starts, even when things get tough he never gives up, if the person improves his personal skills. Correct your spelling
complete
For instance
, this
determination makes him hard-working and causes to
set high goals for himself in Correct pronoun usage
him to
the
life. Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
you can Add a comma
Additionally,
creat
Correct your spelling
create
the
life which is full of Correct article usage
a
with
your achievements. In short, all people and you are proud of yourself because of your effort and Change preposition
apply
success
.
On the flip side, some of the advantages of money and personal appearance can turn out to be disadvantages if someone cannot raise his personal skills. For example
, having affluent
family cannot cause Add an article
an affluent
that
you Correct word choice
apply
get
a high score in your exams Fix the infinitive
to get
in
the university. Change preposition
at
Furthermore
, if you only depend on money and personal appearance, you definitely will be lazy. Because you never try in order to achieve to
triumph by personal skill. Fix the infinitive
apply
In contrast
, you tend to spend money for
everything you need without any try.
In conclusion, after analyzing both sides of the Change preposition
on
argumets
it is not hard to see that Correct your spelling
arguments
argument
a
real Remove the article
apply
success
is built according to
effort and persistance
by personal skills. Correct your spelling
persistence
However
, wealth and personal features are only able to provide a negligible number of economical
and social facilities.Replace the word
economic
Submitted by hs.abdolhay70 on
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
When presenting support for your arguments, try to provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your points.
logical structure
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introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are both present and well-defined, setting the context and summarizing the points effectively.
complete response
The essay broadly covers both views on success, providing a fair and balanced discussion.
supported main points
Your main points are supported and not left hanging, giving overall coherence to the essay.