IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. Agree or disagree.

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Whether it is essential to use
money
Use synonyms
 for motorways and
roads
Use synonyms
 or public transport systems, like trams and railways, is a conventional problem.
Although
Linking Words
 many people support the former statement,
this
Linking Words
 writer
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with it
due to
Linking Words
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 burden and environmental impacts. It is vital to understand that
manking
Correct your spelling
making
mankind
roads
Use synonyms
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 lots of
money
Use synonyms
 and materials.
This
Linking Words
 is because it takes a large amount of
tume
Correct your spelling
time
 and work, which means that it brings no instant benefits for citizens.
Moreover
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,
material
Correct article usage
the material
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 used is expensive,
in other words
Linking Words
, it can put governments
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
 of financial burden.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 situation
many
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
 cause officials
end
Fix the infinitive
to end
show examples
 up with critics of residents and heavy punishment. Take Vietnam as an example, where there are many
authorities'
Fix the agreement mistake
authority'
show examples
 employees being fined because of spending too much cash on
streets'
Fix the agreement mistake
street'
show examples
 facilities
but
Correct word choice
that
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 no use.
Therefore
Linking Words
, using
Use synonyms
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 for
roads
Use synonyms
 might make society deal with
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, some supporters argue that the more motorways are built, the less congestion happens.
This
Linking Words
 means that citizens
then
Linking Words
 have more space to ride and drive,
there
Correct word choice
and there
show examples
 is no worry about traffic flow. Though
this
Linking Words
 opinion has its own right, more
roads
Use synonyms
 might support individuals to own their personal vehicles. Various inhabitants think that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is harmless, but,
in contrast
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, it worsens the environmental issues
due to
Linking Words
 releasing more emissions and exhaust, which contribute to air pollution that has negative impacts on human health.
In addition
Linking Words
, workers need to exploit more natural resources and worsen pollution in areas so as to complete the construction.
Hence
Linking Words
, building
roads
Use synonyms
 is able to lead to more environmental matters. Taking all into consideration, spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
roads
Use synonyms
 is not cost-effective and worsens pollution.
Thus
Linking Words
, governments should have strategies to raise citizens' awareness and encourage using public transport.

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task response
Your stance is clear, but you should aim to elaborate more on each of your main points. This would make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task response
Work on providing balanced viewpoints. Although you do mention the opposing view, it is somewhat cursorily addressed. A more detailed counterargument could enhance the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider the overall structure and ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. This will aid in making your essay more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
The essay would benefit from more varied linking words and phrases. This would help to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your argument.
task response
Your essay tackles both sides of the argument, making it comprehensive.
task response
You use some specific examples to support your points. This strengthens the relevance of your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Infrastructure
  • Transportation
  • Congestion
  • Economy
  • Carbon emissions
  • Pollution
  • Social inclusion
  • Urban development
  • Efficient
  • Investment
  • Reliance
  • Boosting
  • Affordable
  • Private vehicle users
  • Public transport system
What to do next:
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