Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. Agree or disagree.
Whether it is essential to use
money
for motorways and roads
or public transport systems, like trams and railways, is a conventional problem. Although
many people support the former statement, this
writer disagree
with it Change the verb form
disagrees
due to
financial
burden and environmental impacts.
It is vital to understand that Correct article usage
the financial
manking
Correct your spelling
making
mankind
roads
needs
lots of Change the verb form
need
money
and materials. This
is because it takes a large amount of tume
and work, which means that it brings no instant benefits for citizens. Correct your spelling
time
Moreover
, material
Correct article usage
the material
that is
used is expensive, in other words
, it can put governments in
Change preposition
at
risks
of financial burden. Fix the agreement mistake
risk
As a consequence
, this
situation many
cause officials Correct your spelling
may
end
up with critics of residents and heavy punishment. Take Vietnam as an example, where there are many Fix the infinitive
to end
authorities'
employees being fined because of spending too much cash on Fix the agreement mistake
authority'
streets'
facilities Fix the agreement mistake
street'
but
Correct word choice
that
having
no use. Wrong verb form
have
Therefore
, using money
for Add an article
the money
roads
might make society deal with economic
Add an article
the economic
burden
.
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
However
, some supporters argue that the more motorways are built, the less congestion happens. This
means that citizens then
have more space to ride and drive, there
is no worry about traffic flow. Though Correct word choice
and there
this
opinion has its own right, more roads
might support individuals to own their personal vehicles. Various inhabitants think that this
phenomenon is harmless, but, in contrast
, it worsens the environmental issues due to
releasing more emissions and exhaust, which contribute to air pollution that has negative impacts on human health. In addition
, workers need to exploit more natural resources and worsen pollution in areas so as to complete the construction. Hence
, building roads
is able to lead to more environmental matters.
Taking all into consideration, spending money
on roads
is not cost-effective and worsens pollution. Thus
, governments should have strategies to raise citizens' awareness and encourage using public transport.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your stance is clear, but you should aim to elaborate more on each of your main points. This would make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task response
Work on providing balanced viewpoints. Although you do mention the opposing view, it is somewhat cursorily addressed. A more detailed counterargument could enhance the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider the overall structure and ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. This will aid in making your essay more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
The essay would benefit from more varied linking words and phrases. This would help to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your argument.
task response
Your essay tackles both sides of the argument, making it comprehensive.
task response
You use some specific examples to support your points. This strengthens the relevance of your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?