IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe that the development of technology and improved software allow us to translate between languages automatically. Therefore, it is not necessary to learn foreign languages any more. Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #development #technology #software #languages
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often believed that advancements in technology and software enable convenient translation of foreign
languages
, making the study of foreign
languages
 seem less important.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
 notion, as I believe that learning foreign
languages
 offers unique cultural exposure and career opportunities that cannot be replicated by technology. Mastering foreign
languages
 is an efficient way to acquire new cultural knowledge. By studying foreign
languages
, individuals can easily enrich their knowledge by accessing foreign websites, communicating with foreigners on social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram, and learning about different cultures and traditions.
For instance
, many Vietnamese students learn English to gain access to foreign information and connect with people from other cultures.
Furthermore
, learning foreign
languages
 is essential for achieving high
job
 prospects. Proficiency in popular
languages
 like English and Japanese can open doors to
job
 opportunities in international companies.
As a result
, individuals with strong language skills can participate in international businesses, leading to better salaries and
job
 rewards. Many university students in Vietnam,
for example
, learn English to connect with overseas corporations and secure
job
 opportunities. In conclusion,
instead
 of relying heavily on technological devices to translate
languages
, people should learn foreign
languages
 to connect with new cultures and secure high career prospects.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
Make sure to broaden the examples slightly to provide a wider range of perspectives. This can strengthen your argument and show a balance in your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay flows well, consider working on the transition sentences between paragraphs to make the connection between ideas even clearer.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly sums up the main points and reinforces your argument.
task achievement
Your main points are supported well with relevant examples, making your arguments convincing.
coherence cohesion
Each idea is clearly explained and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enhanced communication
  • Nuances
  • Cultural context
  • Emotional depth
  • Cognitive skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Critical thinking
  • Multitasking
  • Employment opportunities
  • International career
  • Cultural understanding
  • Immersive experience
  • Error margins
  • Idiomatic expressions
  • Colloquialisms
  • Technological dependence
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