IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The given bar chart illustrates in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 the portion of consuming
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 five
cities
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Australian's
Correct your spelling
Australia's
show examples
 individuals.
Overall
Linking Words
, the share of
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 four weeks was the lowest in all
cities
Use synonyms
, in comparison
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea was the largest and ranked first in all
cities
Use synonyms
. (
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
 in Adelaide which registered at the same fraction via bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
,50%). Turning to the data in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the figure of
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
 to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in
this
Linking Words
 category was almost similar in three
cities
Use synonyms
 namely Sydney, Melbourne,
Hobart
Correct word choice
and Hobart
show examples
 (which accounted for just over 60 per cent). There was a significant difference between Brisbane and Adelaide, as the former accounted for 55%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the share of the latter was lower by a margin of 5%. The gathered data reveals that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 consumed instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 almost one month was approximately the second highest ratio which was a slight disparity between Sydney and Hobart, with figures of approximately, 45%, and 55% respectively. In terms of drinking fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
,
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 two prevalent
cities
Use synonyms
 were Sydney and Melbourne, as the former contributed just under 45%,
while
Linking Words
 the figure of the latter was marginally lower (41%). The proportion of Brisbane and Adelaide were the same which was exactly 33%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Hobart comprised 37% of consuming instant
coffee
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by safehiana on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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