the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

the chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The given bar chart illustrates in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
the portion of consuming
coffee
and tea
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
five
cities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Australian's
Correct your spelling
Australia's
show examples
individuals.
Overall
, the share of
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
fresh
coffee
in
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
four weeks was the lowest in all
cities
, in comparison
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
to a cafe for
coffee
or tea was the largest and ranked first in all
cities
. (
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
in Adelaide which registered at the same fraction via bought instant
coffee
,50%). Turning to the data in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the figure of
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
to a cafe for
coffee
and tea in
this
category was almost similar in three
cities
namely Sydney, Melbourne,
Hobart
Correct word choice
and Hobart
show examples
(which accounted for just over 60 per cent). There was a significant difference between Brisbane and Adelaide, as the former accounted for 55%,
whereas
the share of the latter was lower by a margin of 5%. The gathered data reveals that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
consumed instant
coffee
in the
last
almost one month was approximately the second highest ratio which was a slight disparity between Sydney and Hobart, with figures of approximately, 45%, and 55% respectively. In terms of drinking fresh
coffee
,
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
two prevalent
cities
were Sydney and Melbourne, as the former contributed just under 45%,
while
the figure of the latter was marginally lower (41%). The proportion of Brisbane and Adelaide were the same which was exactly 33%.
Moreover
, Hobart comprised 37% of consuming instant
coffee
.
Submitted by safehiana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: