Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?
In today’s society, some
parents
are becoming increasingly permissive. They do not impose sufficient discipline on their children
, and in some cases buy them too many things. This
essay will explore why this
is not a good way to raise children
and why it will have a negative impact upon
them in future.
Change preposition
on
While
it is understandable that parents
want to give their children
expensive toys and let them run freely in the streets, this
is actually not really an appropriate method of parenting. Having too many toys encourages children
to be materialistic and does not offer them the same chance to develop social skills like sharing. Furthermore
, when children
have asked for the toys, it gives them a sense of entitlement and even power over their parents
. As for giving children
too much freedom, there are obviously a plethora of dangers in this
world from which they need to be kept safe. Children
also
need rules and boundaries to encourage them to develop into mature and responsible adults.
If parents
insist on this
permissive style of parenting, their children
will grow up, in the long run, with very different values from those of stricter parents
. Children
who were never forced to study will end up with poorer grades in school, and those who were given everything they wanted as children
will expect everything to come easily as adults. In short, they will lead difficult and disappointing lives, in contrast
with what their parents
hoped.
In conclusion, although
it is tempting to give children
whatever they want, parents
ought to set rules and boundaries, and to
be careful with how they reward Fix the infinitive
apply
children
. If parents
fail to impose a basic level of discipline, children
may grow up with a poor attitude that will cause them and others to suffer.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Although the essay is well-structured and responds adequately to the task, it would benefit from more specific examples to enrich the argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying the sentence structure and using more varied vocabulary to make the essay more engaging and to better demonstrate language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs addressing both the reasons and consequences of permissive parenting, and concluding with a summary of the argument.
task achievement
The points made are relevant and adequately address the task prompt, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame the argument, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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