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Band 4.5

discuss whether the advantages of nuclear energy energy outweight the potentential risk and environment concern

#energy #outweight #risk #environment #concern
Nuclear
energy
 is a topic which bears some consideration over the
globeIt
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globe
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
from the
writter's
Correct your spelling
writer's
 point of view
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
 pattern brings more merit
such
 as no emission and
energy
 security than the drawback of
people
's health
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
. The most
advantagous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 factor of nuclear
power
 is it protects air quality . To break it down even
further
, greenhouse gases caused by some activities include burning oil or natural gas to make
eclectricity
Correct your spelling
electricity
.
However
, nuclear
energy
 is different, it
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 method called nuclear fission to create
energy
instead
 of burning stuff , which does not produce any carbon dioxide or other greenhouse gases.
As a result
 , nuclear
power
Correct your spelling
recognized
recognised
Add a missing verb
is rescognized
show examples
rescognized
Correct your spelling
recognised
 as clean
energy
due to
 it does not harm the air
Energy
securtity
Correct your spelling
security
 is another point worth consideration .Simply put by using nuclear
power
, nuclear plants do not need to deal with other resources
such
 as fossil fuel ,
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 the country
reduces
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduce
show examples
 dependence on imported conventional
energy
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 in
global
Add an article
the global
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energy
 market .
Consequently
, these nuclear plants can minimize
trhe
Correct your spelling
the
 potential risk of
power
 outages or shortages ,
Correct word choice
and gaurantee
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gaurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 the
resource
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resources
show examples
 for electricity generation .
For instance
 , some countries
use
Correct pronoun usage
that use
show examples
 nuclear
power
 in practice like Japan will not be under
Correct article usage
the influenced
show examples
influenced
Replace the word
influence
show examples
 of Arap
countrries
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countries
 which dominate
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traditional fuel.
By contrast
 ,some
people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health will
bedevastated
Wrong verb form
be affected
show examples
 by nuclear
accidence
Correct your spelling
accident
show examples
.
This
 may be true
due to
 the
toxic
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toxicity
show examples
 and radiation
release
Replace the word
released
show examples
whern
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where
when
 nuclear plants
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 destroyeed, it
spread
Wrong verb form
spreads
show examples
 fastly and affect seriously to environment
as well as
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health over
generantion
Correct your spelling
generations
generation
.
However
 the circumstance of
nucleqa
Correct your spelling
nuclear
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of nuclear energy, but the ideas are somewhat underdeveloped. Consider providing more detailed examples or elaborating on key points to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay by ensuring clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help the reader follow your reasoning more easily.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more structured conclusion that summarizes the points made and provides a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
The essay clearly highlights significant advantages of nuclear energy, such as its impact on air quality and energy security.
task achievement
You identified main points relevant to the topic and provided some level of support for these points.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to address counterarguments, which is a good practice for a balanced discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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