Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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As far as I agree
with
Change preposition
apply
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that
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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information
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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more valuable as being free for everybody, because if people receive anything
free
Change preposition
for free
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, they don`t know their high value. I will explain my point of view in 2 paragraphs. It is so clear that just
an
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a
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small
percent
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per cent
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of society is keen on knowing a lot with
with
Remove the redundancy
apply
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a high range of motivation, these are the people who always are thirsty for knowledge and improving themselves.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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according to
Linking Words
the Guardian
newspaper
Add a comma
newspaper,
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90% per cent of society is not looking for
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
free, So it could be helpful for the higher range of society. Receiving
this
Linking Words
detail free just for people who take some specific course which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
related to the information that
are
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is
show examples
in some categories, could be so effective in
this
Linking Words
way they know how
this
Linking Words
report
are
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is
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important.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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preparing research has cost and labour for persons who do
this
Linking Words
so they should earn some money in
this
Linking Words
way. In all, everything
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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valuable
is
Correct word choice
and is
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not free,
evendugh
Correct your spelling
enough
, everyone has to pay for the things that they
have wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
.
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task achievement
You should clarify your thesis statement in your introduction. Currently, it’s a bit confusing and doesn’t express your overall opinion clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to cover both sides of the argument more thoroughly before presenting your own opinion to ensure a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with a distinct idea in each to improve coherence and cohesion. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide additional and relevant examples to support your main points, and make sure to explain their significance.
task achievement
You showed an understanding of the topic and attempted to discuss both views, which is a good start.
coherence cohesion
There are moments where your ideas and reasons are clear, indicating you have a solid ability to form arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
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