Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world

As far as I agree

with

Change preposition

apply

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that

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

information

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more valuable as being free for everybody, because if people receive anything

free

Change preposition

for free

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, they don`t know their high value. I will explain my point of view in 2 paragraphs. It is so clear that just

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small

percent

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per cent

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of society is keen on knowing a lot with

with

Remove the redundancy

apply

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a high range of motivation, these are the people who always are thirsty for knowledge and improving themselves.

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

according to

the Guardian

newspaper

Add a comma

newspaper,

show examples

90% per cent of society is not looking for

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

that

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

free, So it could be helpful for the higher range of society. Receiving

this

detail free just for people who take some specific course which

are

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related to the information that

are

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in some categories, could be so effective in

this

way they know how

this

report

are

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important.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

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preparing research has cost and labour for persons who do

this

so they should earn some money in

this

way. In all, everything

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

valuable

Correct word choice

and is

show examples

not free,

evendugh

Correct your spelling

enough

, everyone has to pay for the things that they

have wanted

Wrong verb form

want

show examples

Submitted by TUTOO on Wed May 29 2024

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task achievement

You should clarify your thesis statement in your introduction. Currently, it’s a bit confusing and doesn’t express your overall opinion clearly.

task achievement

Make sure to cover both sides of the argument more thoroughly before presenting your own opinion to ensure a complete response.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with a distinct idea in each to improve coherence and cohesion. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas within and between paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide additional and relevant examples to support your main points, and make sure to explain their significance.

task achievement

You showed an understanding of the topic and attempted to discuss both views, which is a good start.

coherence cohesion

There are moments where your ideas and reasons are clear, indicating you have a solid ability to form arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

information sharing
scientific research
business
academic world
advancement of knowledge
progress
collaboration
cross-disciplinary research
open access
democratization of information
transparency
credibility
intellectual property
security concerns
commercial interests

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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, artifical intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people think that all university students should studt whatever they like. Others belive that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?