IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #visitors #person #visit #attractions #country
Nowadays, people like to travel to every corner of the world and gather information about the cultures and history of those places. Some masses believe that foreign
visitors
 should pay more than the local people to
visit
 traditional and historical attractions
however
 some oppose that
this
 will have an effect on tourism. It will be explained in the upcoming paragraphs including my own opinion. To commence with, Charging high prices to
visitors
 will impact the
country
's tourism as people will feel discrimination and inequality . In my opinion, if there is a reasonable amount of
visitors
 same as locals it will grow the number of tourists in a
country
.
For instance
, if the charges are low to
visit
 a place they will come with their family and friends because it is affordable to them. But if it is expensive for only the
visitors
 they will feel the differences and suggestions to
visit
 going to decrease. So it will impact the number of folks coming for travel and
also
 the revenue they are making per year.
Moreover
, pupils will prefer to
visit
 those places which reflect equality and are affordable for them.
On the other hand
, some believe that an increase in the rates of tickets or passes will help to maintain the locations and provide more facilities to the guests.
Furthermore
, the amount they are going to collect
at the end
 of the year will be used for the conservation of the things.
Also
, these places are under the government of the
country
, It will increase the financial aid for the
country
. In conclusion, I believe raising the prices for tourists will have a more negative impact as compared to a positive. I agree with the point that charges should be equal for locals and
visitors
, it will increase tourism and will help to enhance our culture and historical information.
Submitted by damandhillon75026 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your argument is fully developed. Present additional examples or evidence to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more dynamic and engaging.
task achievement
Avoid repetitive phrasing and be precise in your word choices. This will improve the clarity of your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining your opinion effectively.
complete response
You address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • economic contribution
  • tourism industry
  • equity
  • fairness
  • local economy
  • revenue allocation
  • economic discrimination
  • preservation
  • maintenance
  • community development
  • pricing strategy
  • perceived fairness
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