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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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Volunteer work plays a significant role in the society's progress. Some individuals lean toward the idea that it should be obligatory for young people to do voluntary activities in their leisure
time
due to
 its advantages for the community and themselves. From my perspective, I agree with the statement to a certain extent. On the one hand, using free
time
 to help one’s neighbourhood can be beneficial to soft skills development and social circle expansion, take students as an example. Spending hours at school means that they are confined to a particular environment with typical daily tasks and familiar faces.
Therefore
, joining in new social settings and offering contributions for free is an opportunity for the youth to expand their connections and be creative in organising various programmes which demand different skill sets to cope with ensuing problems.
However
, forcing youngsters to volunteer
while
 they are already swamped with heavy schedules could be inconsiderate.
For instance
, the amount of students’ school workload in Vietnam is so excessive that additional
time
 must be spent outside classrooms to resolve it.
Therefore
, the little remaining
time
 should be used for relaxation and recreational activities to lighten the academic burden.
Furthermore
, the meaning of volunteering lies in genuine altruism. Involving in charity work because of coercion would do more harm than good for the physical and mental health of young people. In conclusion,
although
 using one’s free
time
 for volunteering could improve skills and increase social interaction, mandating
this
 meaningful action for the young can be irrational as it may be against their free will and lead to unnecessary stress.
Submitted by truongthaian7446 on

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coherence cohesion
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logical structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which helps in maintaining clarity.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented are clear and relevant to the topic. The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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