IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart of the amount of tea and coffee imported by four different countries in 2017.

#amount #tea #coffee #four #countries
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The provided bar charts illustrate quantities of tonnes of
tea
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 and
coffee
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 bought from abroad by four different nationalities namely,
Canada
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, Britain, the
USA
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, and
Germany
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 in 2017.
Overall
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, it is clearly observed that the UK and the
USA
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 import significantly more
tea
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 than
coffee
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. Meanwhile,
Canada
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 and
Germany
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 have a higher amount of purchasing from abroad
coffee
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 than
tea
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.
To begin
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 with,
according to
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 the data on imported
tea
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, there was the highest number of purchasing
tea
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 in the UK which was 16,000 tons.
Subsequently
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, it was followed by the
USA
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 as the second spot which was roughly around 12,000 tons.
In addition
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, the number of
tea
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 in
Germany
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 is double that of
Canada
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 which was 40,000 tons.
Finally
Linking Words
, Moving to the
coffee
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data
Correct your spelling
date
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,
Germany
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 had the top spot among countries which was around 41000 tonnes.
Next,
Linking Words
in the middle position,
Canada
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 and the
USA
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 had the same patterns which were 40000 tones which was twice of UK
totals
Fix the agreement mistake
total
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 making it the lowest position.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Be consistent with the figures. You mentioned Germany's imported tea is 40,000 tons instead of 4,000 tons. Verifying numerical data strengthens the task response.
coherence cohesion
A brief conclusion summarizing your key points can provide a stronger ending to the essay.
task achievement
Ensure each country’s import data is compared correctly and consistently. Double-check for any inconsistency in numbers and facts mentioned.
task achievement
The overview paragraph effectively highlights the main differences in the import patterns of tea and coffee between the countries.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and an attempt at a conclusion.
task achievement
Statements are well-supported with specific numerical data, which enhances clarity and comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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