large coporation should provide sport and social facilities to community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#coporation #sport #facilities #community

In contemporary society, the issue of sports and social

facilities

from

companies

has become a matter of great concern. Some people think large

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

should contribute to

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

. And in my perspective, I partly agree with

this

issue.

Firstly

, I am inclined to believe that if

companies

provide essential

facilities

for the public, it can make them become rapport.

This

contribution will give them a certain reputation in the consumer market. And it seems a method of advertising their

company

. A case in point is one business concern providing for the area some machine about a sport where densely populated.

And when

Correct word choice

When

show examples

citizens use it, they will probably know the stickers or information about the contributor,

from

Correct word choice

and from

show examples

there they will know that agency.

As a result

this

company

became famous.

Thus

, after being successful in advertising goods for

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

, they can help increase

company's

Correct article usage

the company's

show examples

reputation. It means that the economy and the life quality of workers increase significantly.

Besides

the positive points mentioned above, I think the

company

providing machines for the public is not really necessary. I firmly that not all

companies

are qualified to provide equipment, the contribution should only be made by

a big

Correct the article-noun agreement

big companies

a big company

show examples

companies

. Some small or newly established

companies

will not be able to provide sports or social services to people.

Moreover

, I am of the opinion that the government collects taxes from citizens,

hence

they need to provide or build

facilities

for everyone

instead

of large

companies

. It can create trust

as well as

improve people's health, and from it, the economy

also

increases rapidly.

To sum up

, after examining both sides of the argument,

it is clear that

the government should provide some service for citizens.

Besides

, some agencies can contribute essential

facilities

for society within capacity.

Submitted by huyentrang712 on Wed May 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your arguments are more logically structured and don’t overlap. Each paragraph should focus on one main point.

coherence cohesion

Try to make your introduction more clear and concise. Summarize your stance more effectively in the introductory paragraph.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to support your main points. Examples should be relevant and clearly illustrate the points you are making.

task achievement

Ensure your sentences are clear and free from awkward phrasing or grammatical errors. Proofreading can help improve clarity.

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay’s arguments and positions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Community well-being
2. Physical activity
3. Mental health
4. Social cohesion
5. Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
6. Public image
7. Goodwill
8. Brand reputation
9. Customer loyalty
10. Engaged and productive workforce
11. Top talent
12. Local economies
13. Economic stimulation
14. Job opportunities
15. Ethical considerations
16. Externalities
17. Sustainability
18. Maintenance costs
19. Equal access
20. Positive impact

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large coporation should provide sport and social facilities to community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society, they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal . Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion ?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say showing program such as Olympics, cricket on television is the best way to encourage adults to do exercise. Some say that there are some other ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.