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Band 2

Some people think that children should only read academic book. Other believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #book #books #pleasure
A group of individuals present the view that children should only spend their time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying
academec
Correct your spelling
academic
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
.
Whereas
, others believe it is just as important to read
books
 for enjoyment. I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, some people justifiably
argu
Correct your spelling
argue
argued
 that the widespread use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
 can have positive effects on society.
For example
, reading various
books
 can lead to an increase in general knowledge.
Besides
, from a
statiscal
Correct your spelling
statistical
 viewpoint, people who read
books
 and magazines at an early age are less likely to suffer from Alzheimer's and depression in old age.
This
 is
also
 worth mentioning that
as a result
 of social anomalies, reading
books
 can result in boost the efficiency of social behaviour.
Submitted by jbl1541374 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there are clear introductions and conclusions to each paragraph, and the essay as a whole. This aids the reader in understanding the structure and flow of your arguments.
task achievement
Improve grammatical accuracy and correct minor spelling errors such as "academec" (academic) and "statiscal" (statistical).
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which is essential for a high score in task achievement.
task achievement
Your writing includes specific, relevant examples supporting your points, which strengthens your task completion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic books
  • reading for pleasure
  • structured reading
  • discipline
  • focus
  • imagination
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • empathy
  • well-rounded education
  • language skills
  • lifelong learning
  • balanced approach
  • child’s development
  • stimulate
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