Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
The debate surrounding
wether
governments should Correct your spelling
whether
dedicated
their resources to Change the verb form
dedicate
railways
instead
of roads
had
sparked considerable debate. Wrong verb form
has
While
some believe assume
that focusing on Verb problem
apply
roads
is more imperative, I, along with
others, consider railways
of higher significance due to
the reasons this
essay further
elaborates on.
To begin
with, transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
with
Change preposition
by
train
has impeccable
effect Correct article usage
an impeccable
of
pollution decline. By Change preposition
on
elimination
Replace the word
eliminating
of
personal car Change preposition
apply
exhaus
Correct your spelling
exhaust
while
transporting on the roads
, less Carbon Dioxiade
is emitted, ultimately contributing to Correct your spelling
dioxide
a
clearer weather. Remove the article
apply
Moreover
, diverting attention to railways
' improvement can lead to electricity utilization for commuting, prior to a lower use of fossil fuels need
for Wrong verb form
needed
vehicles
commuting on the roads
. Iranian governors, for instance
, declared a massive decline in the
air pollution in the year 2007, Correct article usage
apply
as a result
of people
using more train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
instead
of personal vehicles
. Furthermore
, travelling by train
,
serves as a tangible connection between Remove the comma
apply
people
and the
nature as it might go through jungles. To illustrate, Correct article usage
apply
railways
between Mashhad and Tehran,
Remove the comma
apply
passes
through verdant lush jungles.
Correct subject-verb agreement
pass
On the other hand
, some may claim that Correct article usage
the exapnsion
exapnsion
of the Correct your spelling
expansion
roads
brings more convenience to the
society. They contend that Correct article usage
apply
people
have more access to their cars in comparison with train
stations which helps them be more productive, coupled with
a greater oppurtunity
to reach their destinations timely. Correct your spelling
opportunity
This
perspective, however
, overlooks the detrimental effect of the vehicles
' toxic gas emission
that would ultimately lead to the accumulation of Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
the
pollutants in the air. Take the UK as an example; Correct article usage
apply
that
the authorities expanded the cross-country Correct word choice
apply
roads
in one year and the number of vehicles
on them doubled just the next year, showcasing that the more the roads
are developed, the more people
would prefer commuting by their own cars.
To conclude
, I wholeheartedly subscribe to this
sentiment as it brings people
more possibility to relish their journey, leads to exploring new ways of producing energy, and finally
serving
as a way for tackling air contamination.Wrong verb form
serves
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on
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coherence cohesion
Address grammatical errors and typos to improve readability (e.g., 'transporation' should be 'transportation', 'oppurtunity' should be 'opportunity').
task achievement
Expand on each main point more thoroughly and ensure a balanced discussion of both sides. Currently, the essay slightly favors promoting railways more without sufficiently addressing the counterarguments about road expansion.
task achievement
The essay covers most relevant aspects of the topic, including environmental benefits, energy use, and societal convenience.
task achievement
Effective use of examples and illustrations to support the argument. References to Iran and the UK add credibility.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow between paragraphs, with a clear introduction and conclusion. There is a discernible argument throughout the essay.
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