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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

‏The table below shows the water usage for different purposes in six different countries in 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where

‏The table below shows the water usage for different purposes in six different countries in 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where
#‏the #water #usage #purposes #six #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The table provides information about the amount of
water
Use synonyms
expinduture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
expenditures
 for various
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 in different nations. It is clear from the graph that the agricultural
sector
Use synonyms
 had the largest
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 used in most countries.
While
Linking Words
 the equivalent figure for the
use
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in industrial sectors ranked the lowest in most regions .
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, in Australia the amount of
use
Use synonyms
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
demostic
Correct your spelling
domestic
 field had the highest percentage about 65%
wherase
Correct your spelling
whereas
where
 the ratio of
water
Use synonyms
consume
Change the form of the verb
consumed
show examples
 in the industry
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
 reached 32%.
How ever
Correct your spelling
However
show examples
, the percentage of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 for
Agricultural
Correct article usage
the Agricultural
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 became the lowest.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the UK industrial and domestic had the same estimated rate of
water
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consume
Replace the word
consumption
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
Argicultuar
Replace the word
the agricultural
show examples
 field had
themost
Correct your spelling
the most
 significant percentage of
water
Use synonyms
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
water
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uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
show examples
 of
agricultural
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the agricultural
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sector
Use synonyms
 in China was 87. In comparison, the ratio of
water
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uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 in two other
sectos
Correct your spelling
sections
 plummetd to 7 % and 6% respectively. There was
fewest
Change the article
the fewest
show examples
 amount of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
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sector
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the rate of
water
Use synonyms
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
demostic
Correct your spelling
domestic
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 climbed to 65% .
Additionally
Linking Words
, the rate of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
 represented the highest in
india
Change the capitalization
India
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 and
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
.
Submitted by aldossaryfaten95 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, sector, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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