The chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia betwween 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#information #workers #occupations #australia #betwween #summarise #features #comparisons

The given bar chart illustrates the number of migrant

workers

in four distinct jobs in Australia from 2009 to 2012. It can be

also

noticed that the unit was measured in

thousand

workers

Overall

, the number of

workers

tended to decline with the exception of computer programmers and accountants.

Additionally

, the figure for accountants was the most dominant over the 2009-2012 period. Turning to the given information, it was clear that

accountant

Fix the agreement mistake

accountants

show examples

experienced the highest rate in 2010 before

decreased

Wrong verb form

decreasing

show examples

from 28 to 21

thousand

employees. Moving on

cook

Wrong verb form

to cooking

show examples

, the figure remained stably around 15 to 18

thousand

workers

through four years.

Therefore

software

Add an article

a software

show examples

engineer

Fix the agreement mistake

engineers

show examples

was about as fifth times as computer

prgrammer

Correct your spelling

programmer

programme

in 2010, which were 20 and 4

thousand

workers

. Software

engineer

Fix the agreement mistake

engineers

show examples

increased from 19 to 21

thousand

workers

between 2009 and 2011, before

dropped

Change the form of the verb

dropping

show examples

by 17

thousand

workers

in 2012,

while

computer

programmer

Fix the agreement mistake

programmers

show examples

experienced a rough rate which remained stably lower than 5

thousand

workers

through out

Correct your spelling

throughout

show examples

the period.

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu May 30 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, thousand with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

162 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australia betwween 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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