The graph below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in your countries in 1970 and 2000.

The graph below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in your countries in 1970 and 2000.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares the proportion of male and female workers who were 60-64 years old in four several different countries in 1970 and 2000. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, it is readily apparent that male workers dominated and Japan had the highest figure over a period of time.
Additionally
Linking Words
, more and more people worked in 2000, except in The USA and Australia. When it comes to Belgium, the rate of females was the lowest with under 10% in both years
while
Linking Words
its men were 79% in 2000 which quadrupled at the beginning.
In addition
Linking Words
, 40% and 43% belonged to female workers in 1970 and 2000 respectively with two folded male employees. In terms of others, the percentage of women's employment declined over three decades.
This
Linking Words
figure was 38% in The USA and 18% in Australia,
then
Linking Words
there was a slight fall of 2% in the next 30 years.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there were 47% and 55% belonged to The USA and Australia in 1970 climbing to 76% and 73% in the end respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: