Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent agree or disagree?
Many individuals believe that it is more necessary to invest
money
in streets and motor lanes rather than in community vehicles methods consist of railways and trams. This
writer argues that it is better to spend money
on public transportation due to
the reduction of air pollution and saving money
.
First of all, air pollution is the most popular problem worldwide. Trains can help people reduce toxic waste is given off
from vehicles on the streets. Verb problem
apply
Moreover
, it has a comfortable and large space for serving passengers. Furthermore
, there are many locations in order for to humans choose and make a decision Change preposition
about where
where
they go. Change preposition
about where
As a consequence
, it will limit large amounts of harmful wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
such
as carbon dioxide and create a fresh atmosphere in the city. Thanks to railways, countries may deal with air pollution immediately.
Turning to another point, residents can save money
by buying cars or motorbikes so that go to work. In the present era, the cost of private transportation is increasing rapidly. Therefore
, some poor families cannot afford to
them. Change preposition
apply
However
, they may take part in trains to preserve their expenditure effectively and contribute to the protection of the environment. As a result
, citizens do not have to pay for private vehicles. This
may be true in the UK, where there are various electric trains which take dwellers to different sites. Therefore
, the government assist people manage the economy easily and comfortably.
In conclusion, there are many benefits when inhabitants utilize community services and protect habitats together. Thus
, I totally agree with the latter statement.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your main arguments but could benefit from a stronger thesis statement to enhance clarity. Try to make it more explicit, for example, 'Investing in public transport is more beneficial as it helps reduce air pollution and saves money for citizens.'
task achievement
While your main points are relevant and logical, ensure that your arguments are more comprehensively developed. Expanding on specific examples or statistical data can lend more weight to your arguments. For instance, citing studies or statistics on how public transport reduces pollution can strengthen your case.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using transition words and phrases more effectively to link your ideas smoothly. Phrases like 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' and 'Consequently' can make your essay read more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph focuses on a single central idea, with each sentence supporting that idea. Sometimes, your sentences tend to drift off-topic slightly, which can dilute the strength of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided logical reasons and arguments to support your opinion, which significantly adds value to your task achievement.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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