STUDENTS SHOULD PAY THE FULL COST OF THEIR OWN STUDY, BECAUSE UNIVERSITY EDUCATION BENEFITS INDIVIDUALS RATHER THAN SOCIETY. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?
There is an
arguement
between people Correct your spelling
argument
tend
to live independently and Correct pronoun usage
who tend
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
others
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
prefer
rely on Add the particle
prefer to
others
. This
essay will debate both view
and give my opinion.
On the one hand, people want to live with Change to a plural noun
views
other
and rely on them Fix the agreement mistake
others
due to
the salary that they do not have enough to earn their living and rely on others
can support them in finance. Take an example on
real life, the students who Change preposition
in
graduated
from the university a get a job Wrong verb form
graduate
are
still choose to live with their parents. They will both have money for their life and money for Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Change the word
their
demand
or hobbies. Fix the agreement mistake
demands
This
will be helpful a lots
.
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
On the other hand
, many others
decide to live on their own because they want to be independent. Not rely
on their parents or any Wrong verb form
relying
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
and
Correct word choice
apply
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
ca
get them Correct your spelling
can
a habits
can Correct the article-noun agreement
a habit
habits
deal
with every Wrong verb form
dealing
problems
if it occurs. Change to a singular noun
problem
For instance
, if you live independently on
Change preposition
in
the
Correct determiner usage
another
other
city and you Correct word choice
apply
are having
a good job and if you have any trouble or something you will find the way out easily.
Personally, both ways have their own benefits. Wrong verb form
have
However
, I support to live on our own. Moreover
, it can help us form good characters. Do whatever you like and do not have to have any permittion
. Correct your spelling
permission
Additionally
, our relationship can be expanded more and more.
To sum up
, each style has negative and positive. People can choose which is fit with them. Thus
, this
essay prove
live independently is better than Change the verb form
proves
rely
on Wrong verb form
relying
others
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task achievement
Ensure that you address the specific topic of the essay prompt fully. The topic discussed in your essay is about living independently vs. relying on others, which is slightly different from discussing whether students should pay the full cost of their university education. Make sure to focus on the provided topic.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Use clear topic sentences and make sure each paragraph is focused on a single main idea that directly relates to the essay prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more complex grammatical structures to express your ideas clearly and precisely. This will improve the clarity of your writing.
relevant specific examples
Including more specific examples will strengthen your argument. Try to incorporate relevant examples that clearly support your main points.
introduction and conclusion present
You have a clear structure for your essay, including an introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay expresses a personal opinion, which is important in IELTS Writing Task 2.
supported main points
You've made an effort to discuss both sides of an argument, which is positive. This helps in developing a balanced discussion.