Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development , while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result . Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Whether increasing connections between nations in the contemporary era will
boot
Correct your spelling
boost
the
economic growth or cause the loss of culture Correct article usage
apply
bear
some Change the verb form
bears
considerations
. The writer of Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
this
essay claims even though this
may lead to young generations having tendency
to criticize their nation , it is more likely that Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
this
will bring more benefits of forming a sustainable economy and long-term relationships with other countries
.
When it comes to the
globalization , there is no denying Correct article usage
apply
about
its role in promoting Change preposition
apply
economy
. To explain Add an article
the economy
further
, more robust relations between countries
are formed will facilitate global commerce which means in enocomically
disadvantaged Correct your spelling
economically
countries
, people can receive more supports
from developed ones so they will be able to construct new infrastructure Fix the agreement mistake
support
as well as
generating
a host of available jobs that Wrong verb form
generate
boot
the whole Correct your spelling
boost
economic
. Taking HADILAO as a specific example , Replace the word
economy
these
organization is formed by the Correct determiner usage
this
coopeartion
of different nations with the aim of promoting the economic exchange between these .
Correct your spelling
cooperation
On the other hand
, the increase in connections between countries
will also
result in loss of culture . That is
to say , if people especially young generations get exposed to more and more alien cultures , it is understandable that they may take their national values lightly and priortize
foreign ones Correct your spelling
prioritise
instead
. Consequently
, this
undoubtedly cause
Change the verb form
causes
the
shift in their mindset , leading to Correct article usage
a
loss
of national identity which eventually Correct article usage
a loss
harm
their Wrong verb form
harmed
coutrny
.
Correct your spelling
country
In
the writer's perspective , cultural appreciation should be taken into account as a primary benefit of globalization . To put it simply , several connections between Change preposition
From
countries
will generate a lot of opportunities for residents to make effort
to understand people and Correct article usage
an effort
culture
in other parts of the world . Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
Thus
, this
not only boots
their awareness of a particular Correct your spelling
boosts
coutrny
but Correct your spelling
country
also
promote
their appreciation for alien cultures which will erase hostility between nations .
In conclusion , despite the risk of losing national identity , the advantage of a growing economy alongside cultural respect will ensure the importance of globalizationCorrect subject-verb agreement
promotes
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spelling
Pay close attention to spelling and typing errors. For instance, words like 'enocomically' should be 'economically' and 'coutrny' should be 'country'.
grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy, especially paying attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and article usage. For example, 'these organization is formed' should be 'these organizations are formed'.
content
Try to develop your ideas more fully. For instance, the example of HADILAO is briefly mentioned without much explanation of its economic contributions. Adding more details would strengthen your argument.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. While your ideas about economic growth and cultural loss are clear, the transition to cultural appreciation in the last body paragraph feels abrupt.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your discussion.
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a balanced perspective.
vocabulary
Your writing shows a good attempt at using complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.