SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT CHILDREN SHOULD START SCHOOL AT A VERY EARLY AGE, BUT OTHERS BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN SHOULD NOT GO TO SCHOOL UNTIL THEY ARE OLDER. DISCUSS BOTH VIEW AND GIVE YOU OPINION.

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IT IS ARGUED BY SOME THAT YOUNG
CHILDREN
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WHICH
EARLY
Correct article usage
AN EARLY
show examples
AGE SHOULD START
SCHOOL
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WHILE
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OTHER PEOPLE PREFER THAT
CHILDREN
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SHOULD START
SCHOOL
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WHEN THEY ARE OLDER.
THIS
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ESSAY AGREES ON THE FRONT SENTIMENT AND LAYS OUT THE REASONING BELOW. IT MUST BE UNDERSTOOD THAT GOING TO
SCHOOL
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AT A EARLY AGE IS ONE OF THE NECESSARY IN LIFE.
THIS
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IS BECAUSE MOST
CHILDREN
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DEVELOP AND LEARN FASTEST AT THEIR EARLIEST AGES.
AS A RESULT
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, THEY WILL BE QUICK TO ABSORB AND LEARN USEFUL INFORMATION FROM
SCHOOL
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TO HELP THEM POSSESS A HUGE AMOUNT OF KNOWLEDGE TO APPLY TO THE FUTURE.
FOR INSTANCE
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, IN VIETNAM, THERE ARE TALENTED PEOPLE PARTICIPATING IN THE SUPER INTELLIGENCE PROGRAM, MOST OF WHOM ARE GENIUS
CHILDREN
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WHO HAVE STRENGTHS IN GOOD MEMORY AND QUICK ACQUISITION OF INFORMATION.
HOWEVER
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, SOME OTHERS BELIEVE THAT
CHILDREN
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SHOULD GO TO
SCHOOL
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WHEN THEY ARE OLD ENOUGH FOR THEIR PERCEPTION OF KNOWLEDGE. BECAUSE THEY WILL BECOME MORE AWARE AND GIVE THEIR OPINIONS IN THE MOST REASONABLE WAY.
THEREFORE
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, YOUNGSTER SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO
STUDY
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WHEN THEY ARE AT AN AGE THAT HAS THEIR OWN MEMORY RETENTION. IT IS THE OPINION OF THE WRITER THAT,
IN ADDITION
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, WE UST
STUDY
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WHEN ATWEARLIER AGED BECAUSE IT INCREASED OUR BRAND AND THINKING MOST QUICKLY.
MOREOVER
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,
HELP
Correct subject-verb agreement
HELPS
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THEM
MORE
Add a missing verb
BE MORE
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INTELLIGENT AND
KNOWLEDGE
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KNOWLEDGEABLE
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TO BE THEMSELVES. IN CONCLUSION,
STUDY
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AN EARLY
AGED
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AGE
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HAVE LOTS OF BENEFITS FOR OUR
CHILDREN
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BUT THEY
ALSO
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HAVE TO PLAY TO HELP
THEY
Correct pronoun usage
THEM
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HAVE LOTS OF FUN MEMORY AND RELAXATION,
COMFORTABLE
Correct word choice
AND COMFORT
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IN
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STUDY
Wrong verb form
STUDYING
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, TOO.
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point supported by specific examples. Currently, the transitions between ideas could be smoother.
task achievement
For a more comprehensive and clear response, try to elaborate more on each argument. Your essay feels rushed and doesn't provide enough depth on why children should start school early or later.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples to support your points. For instance, discuss studies or real-life examples that show the benefits or drawbacks of early schooling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines what each paragraph will discuss, and conclude each paragraph by tying it back to the main argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The use of examples, particularly the one from Vietnam, adds a practical aspect to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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