IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Why is this case? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.

#case #measures #traffic #cities
It is undeniable that in the digital age, the rise of
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 congestion is becoming significantly relevant.
However
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
issues can be taken
step
Add an article
a step
the step
show examples
 to mitigate these potential problems. Overpopulation is one of the crucial
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
 that
contributing
Wrong verb form
contribute
show examples
 to
grindlocks
Correct your spelling
gridlocks
gridlock
.
In other words
, the more majority of
people
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
, the more
traffic
 congestion
become
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
urgent.
Furthermore
,
people
 tend to use their own private vehicles, these transports
then
 to be driven at the same time and cause rush hour.
Thereafter
,
this
phenomenom
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 can get stuck in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
, making
drivers
 stressed and frustrated.
The another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
 factor that
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 is
weather
Add an article
the weather
show examples
. Bad climates can
let
Verb problem
put
show examples
people
 in
hurry
Correct article usage
a hurry
show examples
 and want to return back to their own homes.
For example
, if the weather forecast shows
recently
Change the word
recent
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stormy or rainy weather, meaning that
drivers
 may become
concern
Change the verb form
concerned
show examples
 and anxious.
As a result
, all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 want to drive quickly to prevent them from bad situations.
However
,
this
 trouble can
tackle
Wrong verb form
be tackled
show examples
 by strict punishment. Using some regulation to encourage
drivers
 follow rules directly. Penalties can
mek
Correct your spelling
make
people
 scared and obey.
For instance
, there are many various types of driving
license
Fix the agreement mistake
licenses
show examples
such
 as small fines, driver awareness courses, and even prison sentences.
Consequently
,
drivers
 may be more alert
abour
Correct your spelling
about
 their attitudes and
behavious
Correct your spelling
behaviours
behaviour
. Thereby, they
then
 follow the instructions and avoid causing the
traffic
 jam directly In conclusion, it is true that
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 can
cause
Wrong verb form
be caused
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 various factors,
whereas
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be addressed by
government's
Change noun form
government
show examples
 regulation.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a basic response to the task, but make sure that your ideas are clearly organized and logically structured. For example, your introduction could briefly mention the main causes and solutions before discussing them in detail in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider providing more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your argument stronger and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea. For instance, merge similar ideas and avoid redundancy (e.g., combine the reasons related to overpopulation and usage of private vehicles).
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to make your writing clearer and more coherent. For example, 'in urgent' should be 'urgent,' and 'meaning that drivers may become concern' should be 'meaning that drivers may become concerned.'
task achievement
You have made an effort to address both the causes and solutions to traffic congestion, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an identifiable introduction and conclusion, which helps give your writing a clear beginning and end.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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