IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

TEST 8 In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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In our modern era, builders want to arrange homes, schools, shops and offices in one
area
Use synonyms
 and separate them.
This
Linking Words
 writer
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 it is a good development
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
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 in tourism and convenience It must be acknowledged that building facilities in one
area
Use synonyms
 help
increase
Use synonyms
 tourists. Because all of the
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 and
Replace the word
attractions
show examples
attracting
Replace the word
attractions
show examples
 place
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
Change preposition
apply
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at
Change preposition
apply
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a specific
area
Use synonyms
, people tend to go there rather than anywhere else.
As a result
Linking Words
, the tourism of that
area
Use synonyms
 will
increase
Use synonyms
 rapidly and become popular.
Thus
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, there will be an
increase
Use synonyms
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 in that
area
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. Another point worth considering is that organizing them in that way can be
convenience
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convenient
show examples
 for citizens in that
area
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. Having not to have far away, people can just go to a specific
area
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 to buy the stuff they want and not have to look around can be a lot useful. Take Viet Nam as an example, all the
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
 that
relevant
Add a missing verb
are relevant
show examples
 must be built next to each other,
therefore
Linking Words
 people can go there and
shopping
Replace the word
shop
show examples
. In conclusion, improvement in tourism and
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
 will occur when placing facilities together.
Therefore
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,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should arrange shops like that

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph is well-developed with more specific examples and details. For instance, describing how tourism increases due to concentrated facilities with statistics or real-life examples could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more complex logical structure in the essay. Instead of simple listing of points, provide comprehensive reasoning and link your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Refine your introduction to clearly state your position, making it evident that you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This helps provide a clear task response.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to make the argument flow more naturally. This improves cohesion and makes the essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author’s position, which provides a clear ending to the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt and provides reasons for the stated opinion, indicating a good attempt at responding fully to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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