In the past , knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?
In the cutting-edge society, the Internet
deemed
as a storage for knowledge of humanity Add a missing verb
is deemed
instead
of using books to preserve these precious data as in the previous years. The writer believes that some benefits of simple
approach Correct article usage
a simple
of
accessing and environmental protection outweigh the Change preposition
to
drawback
.
There are several advantageous factors, one of them is to support Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
people
approach to various information in networking sites easily. It should be acknowledged that individuals do not have to purchase or borrow different kinds of documents, they just need to search for Change noun form
people's
great
diversity of websites storing precious information on the Internet. Add an article
a great
the great
Consequently
, residents may save a lots
of expenses on books, Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
documents
. Correct word choice
and documents
Taking
Wikipedia, which contains various theories, exercises , Wrong verb form
Take
instructions
for all levels of both undergraduates and graduates, as an interesting instance. Correct word choice
and instructions
Hence
, it is beneficial to store data on the networking platforms.
Another advantageous point should
be considered is that Correct pronoun usage
that should
environment
can be protected and Correct article usage
the environment
save
by alleviating Wrong verb form
saved
trees
clearance. It is vital to understand that the less Change the noun form
tree
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
produce
, the Wrong verb form
produced
less
evergreen trees Correct quantifier usage
fewer
chop
down. Wrong verb form
are chopped
As a result
, it not only prevents climate changes, erosion
but Correct word choice
and erosion
also
provide
more spacious green space for the community. Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
For example
, the USA’s government has some new policies which encourage individuals to read books and news on some networking websites. Therefore
, green
and Correct article usage
a green
cleaned
environment results from knowledge Replace the word
clean
storing
on the Internet.
In conclusion, the drawback is outweighed by the beneficial points of accessible approach and environmental preservation. Wrong verb form
stored
Additionally
, it should be created more and more websites containing
Wrong verb form
contain
wide
range of authentic documentsAdd an article
a wide
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task response
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion. However, try to strengthen your thesis statement and make it more explicit. For example, you could clearly state: 'This essay will argue that the advantages of storing knowledge on the Internet, such as easy accessibility and environmental benefits, outweigh its disadvantages.'
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that all your sentences within paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. Transition words and phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' can help guide the reader through your argument.
task response
While your points are generally well-supported, providing more specific examples and elaborating on them would strengthen your argument. For instance, discussing a specific policy or initiative related to environmental benefits in more detail could add depth to your essay.
task response
Your conclusion summarises well but could further restate the main advantages discussed and say why they surpass the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You have made a good attempt to address the topic and provide a balanced view.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?