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Band 5.5

Online classes make conventional classrooms unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#classes #classrooms
Nowadays, more and more people are able to approach the internet, leading to e-learning has exploded. With the population of e-learning, some people believe that physical
classrooms
 are redundant. As
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 author of
this
 essay, I totally disagree with
this
 statement
due to
 the limitation in
communication
 skills and the lack of assistance during studying. First of all, learning in the traditional classroom provides
students
 the opportunities to meet other
students
 and friends. In other words, assisting their
communication
 abilities through working with other
students
,
while
 e-learning does not have many opportunities to talk with classmates or teachers.
For example
, interactive activities and live discussions allow
students
 to enhance their
communication
 skills and confidence during talking with strangers. Not only that
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
studying in an active environment
also
 brings back joy and comfort to the
students
 by assisting and giving advice in order to elevate each other.
For instance
, sitting in a class where learners are all around makes asking for help or telling jokes way easier.
In addition
 to
this
, the existence of traditional
classrooms
 is becoming vital
due to
 the development of technology. More subjects being modern and having some experiments leading to courses
such
 as physics or chemistry
are being needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
live instructions from the teachers, which e-learning does not have.
For instance
, having a science laboratory at home is not budget-friendly and
also
 unsafe for everyone to practise with. In conclusion, traditional
classrooms
 are vital
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 can not be replaced or defined as redundant because of
communication
 skills, a comfortable learning environment and the experiments that some subjects need face-to-face instruction.Online classes make conventional
classrooms
 unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure ideas are clearly and comprehensively expressed. For instance, instead of saying 'leading to e-learning has exploded', you could say 'resulting in the explosion of e-learning'. This makes the sentence clearer and more grammatically correct.
complete response
While your response is mostly complete, make sure to cover all aspects of the question fully. For example, you could expand more on how e-learning can supplement traditional classrooms rather than replace them completely.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant specific examples such as the need for live instructions in subjects like physics and chemistry. This strengthens the argument against replacing traditional classrooms with online learning.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, giving a clear stance on the topic and summarizing the main points effectively.
logical structure
The logical structure is clear and ideas flow well from one paragraph to the next. This makes the essay easy to follow.
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