In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the advantages?

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In many nations nowadays, the decision of parents choosing to educate their offspring at
home
rather than sending them to authentic education is continuously rising.
While
the author believes that learning at their own house can be beneficial for financial purposes,
this
circumstance might provide
an inadequate learning conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
inadequate learning conditions
an inadequate learning condition
show examples
and a non-competitive ambient for children. It must be acknowledged that studying purely at
home
is causing children to be isolated from authentic study experiences.
In other words
, guiders who have no expertise in teaching may pave the wrong way for their offspring to grasp the mechanism of a particular subject, which is a threatening factor to many upcoming exams.
As a result
,
students
are likely to undergo inadequate learning sensory
that is
harmful to their study progress.
For example
,
home
teachers in France have no qualifications in teaching,
thus
leading
students
to participate invalid in studying. Another point worth mentioning is that
home
education provides no competitive ambient for children with their peers. To clarify
this
point, if
students
participate in a course without any opponents, there will be no competitive spirit in them to strive for high marks.
Consequently
, the student will make no effort in their progress, thereby achieving no good results.
For example
, a typical student studying at
home
in Holland usually felt bored
due to
lacking competitors, which
this
circumstance has led to the downfall of getting great marks
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
a student.
Nevertheless
, many assumptions showed that education
Change preposition
in at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
household might be beneficial for a particular family in financial terms. It is true that parents could save an amount of expense by teaching their offspring at households, thereby alleviating financial burden.
This
might be right in certain extents, yet they should be able to provide an appropriate study condition for their child only for their sake in studying.
Hence
, saving costs by educating
students
at their own house is not necessary.
To conclude
, it is valid that
assitstants
Correct your spelling
assistants
assistant
teaching at
home
may be profitable to their finances. Yet
students
will struggle from experiencing a lack of studying conditions and being unable to compete with their peers.

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task response
The essay has a clear structure, but the thesis statement could be a bit more concise. Try to clearly state whether you believe the advantages of home education outweigh its disadvantages or not.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally coherent, there are some abrupt transitions between points. Consider using more linking words and phrases to make the flow of the essay smoother.
task response
Some points in the essay are supported better than others. Make sure to provide clear and relevant examples to back up each point you make.
task response
The essay addresses the task and presents a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of home education.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to the essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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