SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT INDIVIDUALS TODAY ARE MORE DEPENDENT ON EACH OTHER. OTHERS BELIEVE PEOPLE HAVE BEOME MORE INDEPENDENT. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOURS OWN OPINION.
IN AN EVER-PROGRESSIVE SOCIETY, WHETHER HUMAN BEINGS ARE BECOMING DEPENDENT OR INDEPENDENT IS A DEBATABLE CONTROVERSY
AMONG
THE COMMUNITY. IN LIGHT OF Change preposition
IN
THIS
, THE AUTHOR CONTEND THAT PEOPLE
NOWADAYS TEND TO DEPEND ON HUMANS AND THINGS DUE TO
GLOBALISATION
AND TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT, DESPITE OTHERS ASSUMING THAT SOCIETY IS MORE LIKELY TO BE INDEPENDENT IN ORDER TO DEAL WITH WORKLOAD.
IT IS VITAL TO UNDERSTAND THAT GLOBALISATION
IS ONE OF THE MAIN FACTORS LEADING TO A DEPENDABLE LIFESTYLE. PARTICULARLY, GLOBALISATION
POSE A CRISIS OF RAPID INCREMENT IN COST OF LIVING. AS A NATURAL OUTCOME OF THIS
, PEOPLE
HAVE TO FOSTER A SENSE OF UNITY IN ORDER TO REDUCE FINANCIAL HARDSHIP AND BURDENS. ACCORDING TO
A PRESTIGE ARTICLE FROM NEW YORK REALING THAT OVER 80% OF PARENTS IN NEW YORK ARE COMBINING THEIR INCOME TO DEAL WITH THE
DAILY EXPENSES.
SOME Correct article usage
apply
PEOPLE
, HOWEVER
, JUSTIFIED THAT EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF DEADLINE FORCING PEOPLE
TO WORK INDEPENDENTLY. THIS
IS BASED ON A COMMON BELIEF THAT THE MORE PEOPLE
PARTAKE IN AN ACTIVITY THE EASIER PEOPLE
BECOME DISTRACTED DUE TO
CHATTING AND CONVERSATIONS AMONG MEMBERS. THIS
IS TRUE TO A CERTAIN, BUT PEOPLE
IN A TEAM CAN FOSTER A SENSE OF TEAMWORK THROUGH DISCUSSIONS, DISTRIBUTING TASKS, ADJUSTING AND FINALIZING RESULTS. THEREFORE
, THE EFFICIENCY AND PRODUCTIVITY WILL BE REINFORCED, MAKING TASK COMPLETION EASIER.
ANOTHER FACTOR WORTH CONSIDERING IS THAT SOCIETY NOT ONLY RELY ON OTHERS BUT ALSO
DEPENDS ON TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT. TO BE SPECIFIC, HUMAN BEING
Fix the agreement mistake
BEINGS
IS
NOW STICKING WITH INTELLIGENT DEVICES IN ORDER TO COMPLETE THEIR PURPOSES . AS Wrong verb form
ARE
THE
RESULT OF Correct article usage
A
THIS
CIRCUMSTANCE, PEOPLE
WILL HAVE AHIGHER
CHANCE OF BECOMING OVERRELIANT ON SMART DEVICES TO COPE WITH VARIOUS TYPES OF QUESTS RANGING FROM DAILY TO VOCATIONAL REQUESTS. Correct your spelling
A HIGHER
ACCORDING TO
MY PRIOR EXPERIENCE, PEOPLE
USE SATNAV EXCESSIVELY ALTHOUGH
THEY ARE JUST GOING TO THE NEARLY MARKET.
TAKING ALL POINTS INTO ACCOUNT, GLOBALISATION
AND TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENTS ARE ESSENTIAL POINTS WORTH CONSIDERING. HENCE
, IT HAS BEEN CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED THAT HUMAN
RACE ARE BECOMING DEPENDENT.Correct article usage
THE HUMAN
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coherence cohesion
You may want to reorganize your ideas to ensure a smoother progression and clearer distinction between different arguments. For example, the paragraph on globalization could be more focused on just this topic without drifting into other areas.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid monotony. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to read.
task achievement
Pay close attention to the accuracy of certain vocabulary terms and grammatical structures. For example, 'pose a crisis' is not used correctly here. It would be better to say 'poses challenges' or 'creates issues'.
task achievement
Strong, relevant examples are provided to support your points, making your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the issue before giving your own opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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