IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people tjink everyone should be a vegtarian , becouse we do not need to eat meat to stay helthy . To waht extent do you agree or disagree

#people #tjink #vegtarian #becouse #meat #helthy #waht
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The
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In the
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 world there are a
lot
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 of vegetarian individuals than nonvegetarian humans,so that type of community as well as dissolves and doctors said, that when society eats healthy
food
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 maybe they will live longer than humans who eat a
lot
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 of meals.When
people
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 eat a
lot
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.
meat
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 leads to weight gain and obesity
then
Linking Words
 affects the circulatory system and
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
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 case it causes a person to have a short
life
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 span Depending on the method of cooking
meat
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 or beef products whether it is. If all types of
food
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 boiled or steamed of course it is useful for a person's body.
On the other hand
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, it is definitely a loss that is fried and cooked in a different way. On the other side, the population need healthy
food
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.
Moreover
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, most
people
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 are crazy about
meat
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 and fast
food
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 so junk
food
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 80 per cent of it is made from foodstuff
also
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 it is not healthy
food
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. If
people
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 would like healthy
food
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 they eat more and more fruit or vegetables. Nowadays numerous
people
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 eat a
lot
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 of
meat
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 because
meat
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 is supremely yummy and tasty
food
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.If
people
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 would like to have a longer
life
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 and
also
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 a healthy
life
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 more and more healthy
food
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 than fries or junk foods.
For example
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, every day they eat rice or vegetables and
also
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 kind of build crops. They are very useful and helpful for all types of human bodies. In conclusion, the population protect their
life
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, most importantly It is able to refrain from eating
meat
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,
that is
Linking Words
, from obesity and laziness. Because that time health comes first
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your argument is clearly presented in the introduction and that it is systematically developed in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer and more logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that points are logically connected.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., “furthermore,” “however,” “in addition”) to link your ideas and points effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This helps illustrate your arguments clearly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and provides reasons to support the opinion on vegetarianism.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy ways to consume meat, as well as the benefits of eating vegetables.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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