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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons wherever relevant  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons wherever relevant  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#two #maps #show #road #access #city #information #features #comparisons #summarise
The maps display the
road
 access to a
city
 hospital in 2007 and how it looked in 2010.
Overall
, the layout of roads has been updated with the bus station changing location,
then
 adding several roundabouts to provide more mobility and availability for people.
In addition
, the parking has been dissected into two categories with relocating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one: for staff, and
for
Correct pronoun usage
one for
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. Starting at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
City
Road
, in the south,
instead
 of a crossroad as it had been before there has been
adhered
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a roundabout on the way to Hospital
Road
 towards
north
Add an article
the north
show examples
.
Following
this
, on the right side
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
road
Add a comma
road,
show examples
 the car park for staff takes place,
whereas
 previously it was suited for both workers and locals.
In contrast
, the public car park
has taken
Verb problem
is located
show examples
 place on
northern-east
Add an article
the northern-east
show examples
 side
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 hospital. Across the parking, on the other side of the
road
, the bus station has been moved from the far east point and
gave
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
 place between
Ring
Correct article usage
the Ring
show examples
road
 that
surround
Change the verb form
surrounds
show examples
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 hospital and
City
Correct article usage
the City
show examples
road
. To allow more accessibility for people the bus station
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 two branches with the one leading to the first roundabout of
City
Road
 and the second connecting with the Ring
road
, which circles the
city
 hospital.
Submitted by katenok200312 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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