IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the information about medical care in three European countries between 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the information about medical care in three European countries between 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #care #three #european #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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The given table illustrates the
infomation
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information
 about the health care facilities in three European countries namely
Austrai
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Australia
,
France
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 and
Sweden
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 from 1980 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, a cursory glance at the graph is enough to make it clear that the hospital
beds
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 per thousand showed an increase,
whereras
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whereas
 the average stay in healthcare centres decreased in a given time. In Austria, the number of doctors slightly experienced a development from 0.8 per 1000
people
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 in 1980 to 1.0 per 1000
people
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. In
meantime
Correct article usage
the meantime
show examples
, the availability of physicians showed an opposite pattern in
France
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 from 2.4/1000 to 1.3/1000 during the given span.
Sweden
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 had the best healthcare between 1980 to 2000 in comparison with other areas, in spite of a
slightly decreased
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slight decrease
show examples
 in 1990 to 3.0/1000. Austria saw the most marked growth in the number of hospital
beds
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 per thousand by 1.2/1000 during the aforementioned span.
France
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 showed
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 trend from 0.2 to 1.6 in the given period. With respect to
Sweden
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, the nation took the lead by having 6.4
beds
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/
1000
Change preposition
per 1000
show examples
people
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1980 and 1990,
however
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 later ten years, the figure reached
at
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apply
show examples
around 6.9 hospital
beds
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 per 1000
people
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. Regarding the average span staying in healthcare centres,
Sweden
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 residents
whose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
treatment
days
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 at hospitals were the highest compared to other countries with around 20
days
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average. Incredibly, both Austria and
France
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 saw a marked
decreased
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decrease
show examples
, from 18 to 8
days
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 and 9 to 5
days
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, respectively.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words france, sweden, beds, people, days with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • healthcare facilities
  • hospital beds
  • medical personnel
  • healthcare expenditure
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • trends
  • fluctuations
  • comparative analysis
  • demographic
  • socioeconomic factors
  • preventative care
  • infrastructure investment
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • public health policy
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