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Writing Samples
Band 7

it is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
 before attending
college
Use synonyms
 has recently gained enormous popularity amongst high
school
Use synonyms
 graduates. My essay below will analyze both the benefits and the drawbacks of the phenomenon. Having a
year
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 off after high
school
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 graduation is advantageous in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain aspects.
First,
Linking Words
students can utilize
this
Linking Words
 period of time to travel to acquire knowledge of various fields
such
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 as foreign languages and cultures.
This
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 would be more difficult during their years at university owing to their intense studying schedules.
Second,
Linking Words
many high
school
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 graduates benefit from taking a temporary
job
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 before starting their
college
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 life.
Due to
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 the inadequate provision of career orientation in high
school
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, sparing another 12 months looking for a
job
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 or signing up for a vocational course is considered a remedy for students to figure out their future path. From an opposite angle, the disadvantages of a gap
year
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 before
college
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 are varied.
Initially
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, compared to the students having a
year
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 off, those who go straight to university after high
school
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 are more likely to have a permanent
job
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 early. They finish their academic studies one
year
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 in advance,
hence
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 better opportunities to get a
job
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 with stable incomes. More importantly, high
school
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 seniors might lose their studying habits
as well as
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 discipline.
In other words
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, one
year
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 spent
on
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apply
show examples
travelling or working can demotivate them from following tertiary education. In conclusion, despite some benefits in terms of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and working, taking a
year
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 off before
college
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 life might both jeopardize students’ occupational opportunities and result in studying discouragement.

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task achievement
Although the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, adding more specific examples to support arguments could enhance the task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words to improve coherence, despite already having a logical structure.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas is present throughout the essay, maintaining a consistent flow of thoughts.
supported main points
Main points are outlined effectively with relevant reasons and examples, though they could be more specific for higher impact.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
What to do next:
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