Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Currently, money and appearance lead to making celebrities more famous compared to their accomplishments. I agree with

this

statement they have got bad influence on

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

generation but in some cases, they could be helpful to them. On the one hand, some kind of famous individuals reached great success without hard

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. They might be born

Change preposition

into

show examples

a wealthy family, some married a famous or rich person. To take an example, Mr Beast is a blogger who has a rich and famous family

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and has a big influence on YouTube platforms and social media. He spent and gave a lot of money to win the challenge, and at the same time, there was a big compilation among subscribers.

On the other hand

, there are many celebrities who make remarkable role models for the young generation. Musicians, actors and sports stars become famous idols because worked hard and applied themselves to develop real skills and abilities. An example is the sportsman and championship leader Max Verstappen, who 4-time champion and won lots of goblets in a short time of career through years of practice and hard work. He is a "Formula 1" driver who can inspire your generation to improve their talents through supplement and insistence. In conclusion, many celebrities are famous for their beauty and way of living only because of that they show off their lifestyle on social media.

However

, those who follow them get affected by their wealth and get to know more because of those things rather than personal achievement.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Thu May 30 2024

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Ensure each idea is fully expanded and explained. Currently, some points are introduced but not fully developed.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to make them more varied and complex, enhancing clarity and readability.

coherence cohesion

Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Make sure to address counterarguments clearly to show a balanced discussion and consider multiple perspectives.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, aiding reader understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

You attended a meeting last week but you are not happy with the hotel which you stayed in. Write a letter to the organizer who hotel for you. In your letter, you should tell: (a) what the problems were (b) what you didn't like about the hotel (c) what do you want organizer to do.

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Developed countries should help poor nations . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. This is because parents spend much of their time at work not at home. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+