Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#scientists #tourists #travel #environments #pole

Some scientists and those who like to travel rather prefer to visit

oversea

Correct your spelling

overseas

show examples

natural fields,

such

South

Correct article usage

the South

show examples

Pole.

However

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

such

Change preposition

to such

show examples

lands most likely be more dangerous than any other

due to

the fact that nature is untamed by itself.

On the other hand

, experiencing the unknown and seeing the unseen are two feelings which can not be felt without exploring. It is agreed that it is quite

unnessary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

, risky and unworthy in every way.

Firstly

, exploring and finding out are essential for enhancing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge, science and

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

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Also

, travellers who

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

already toured the world do not have anywhere to travel but extreme places.

Moreover

, having a high budget can reduce the possibility of dangering your life with expensive

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

or safety gadgets.

For example

, researchers found

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a new living creature South Pole and safely returned their home with the help of

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

years ago.

Secondly

, it is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

matter of life and

death

, no matter how important is the subject or how curious the scientists are.

Furthermore

, it is

one

Correct determiner usage

show examples

time

Correct your spelling

one-time

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only and not repeatable as a vacation or a journey. Even though having a high budget, the risk of

death

and freezing will not be zero anyway.

Traveling

Change the spelling

Travelling

show examples

Change preposition

to these

show examples

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of places

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

neither wise nor worthy enough to spend

such

big budgets.

For instance

, a group of scientists are frozen to

death

while

doing research

Change preposition

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

South

Correct article usage

the South

show examples

Pole. To summarize,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should not get rid of travelling

Change preposition

to extreme

show examples

extreme

Change the word

extremely

show examples

conditional places

compeletely

Correct your spelling

completely

to continue gaining data but it should not be just for fun and journey or vacation

due to

the high risk of

death

or injury caused by the extreme conditions.

Submitted by sonatakcaa on Thu May 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay needs to have clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments. Each idea should be clearly introduced and sufficiently developed. Consider starting each paragraph with a clear main idea before diving into examples and details.

task achievement

While you have included examples, make sure they directly support the point you're making. The example about researchers finding a new living creature could be more directly tied to your argument about safety and budget reducing risks.

task achievement

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. This can also help in making your essay clearer and more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structures. Some sentences are a bit awkward and could be clearer with better grammar and word choice. For example, 'traveling such lands most likely be more dangerous than any other' could be 'traveling to such places is likely to be more dangerous than any other.'

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your conclusion directly reflects the arguments made in your body paragraphs, briefly summarizing them and reinforcing your stance on the issue.

task achievement

Your essay introduces the topic well and states a clear opinion.

task achievement

You present balanced arguments, recognizing the potential benefits and risks of traveling to remote natural environments.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is well-organized.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write about the following topic Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer

Some people think that, to learn about other countries, traveling abroad is necessary while others think that is not necessary because TV and the internet can give the same information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?