Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#scientists #tourists #travel #environments #pole

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Some scientists and those who like to travel rather prefer to visit

oversea

Correct your spelling

overseas

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natural fields,

such

Linking Words

South

Correct article usage

the South

show examples

Pole.

However

Linking Words

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

Linking Words

such

Change preposition

to such

show examples

lands most likely be more dangerous than any other

due to

Linking Words

the fact that nature is untamed by itself.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, experiencing the unknown and seeing the unseen are two feelings which can not be felt without exploring. It is agreed that it is quite

unnessary

Correct your spelling

unnecessary

, risky and unworthy in every way.

Firstly

Linking Words

, exploring and finding out are essential for enhancing

the

Correct article usage

apply

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knowledge, science and

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

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Also

Linking Words

, travellers who

had

Wrong verb form

have

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already toured the world do not have anywhere to travel but extreme places.

Moreover

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, having a high budget can reduce the possibility of dangering your life with expensive

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

or safety gadgets.

For example

Linking Words

, researchers found

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a new living creature South Pole and safely returned their home with the help of

government

Correct article usage

the government

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years ago.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

matter of life and

death

Use synonyms

, no matter how important is the subject or how curious the scientists are.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it is

one

Correct determiner usage

show examples

time

Correct your spelling

one-time

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only and not repeatable as a vacation or a journey. Even though having a high budget, the risk of

death

Use synonyms

and freezing will not be zero anyway.

Traveling

Change the spelling

Travelling

show examples

Change preposition

to these

show examples

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of places

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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neither wise nor worthy enough to spend

such

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big budgets.

For instance

Linking Words

, a group of scientists are frozen to

death

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

doing research

Change preposition

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

South

Correct article usage

the South

show examples

Pole. To summarize,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should not get rid of travelling

Change preposition

to extreme

show examples

extreme

Change the word

extremely

show examples

conditional places

compeletely

Correct your spelling

completely

to continue gaining data but it should not be just for fun and journey or vacation

due to

Linking Words

the high risk of

death

Use synonyms

or injury caused by the extreme conditions.

Submitted by sonatakcaa on Thu May 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay needs to have clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments. Each idea should be clearly introduced and sufficiently developed. Consider starting each paragraph with a clear main idea before diving into examples and details.

task achievement

While you have included examples, make sure they directly support the point you're making. The example about researchers finding a new living creature could be more directly tied to your argument about safety and budget reducing risks.

task achievement

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. This can also help in making your essay clearer and more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structures. Some sentences are a bit awkward and could be clearer with better grammar and word choice. For example, 'traveling such lands most likely be more dangerous than any other' could be 'traveling to such places is likely to be more dangerous than any other.'

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your conclusion directly reflects the arguments made in your body paragraphs, briefly summarizing them and reinforcing your stance on the issue.

task achievement

Your essay introduces the topic well and states a clear opinion.

task achievement

You present balanced arguments, recognizing the potential benefits and risks of traveling to remote natural environments.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is well-organized.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Remote natural environments
South Pole
Scientists
Tourists
Climate change
Ecosystems
Ecotourism
Conservation efforts
Pollution
Delicate ecosystems
Safety risks
Harsh climate
Unique access
Invaluable data
Local economy
Global awareness
Scientific advancements
Unpredictable climate
Financial costs

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Nowadays many scientists and tourists would like to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Levels of consumer debt are increasing across the world. To address this, a new subject should be introduced in secondary schools: how to manage personal finances. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many people who live in urban areas are suffering increasingly from stress. what do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to reduce it ?