Some people believe that professionals such as doctor and engineers should required to work in the country where they did their training .Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
can live as free in
this
world but, some
people
have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
level of education
contain of
Wrong verb form
containing
show examples
different
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
. As you can see
this
type of human
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
like
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
show examples
to
effective
Add a missing verb
be effective
show examples
for their
country
or foreign
country
. Some others they are
agret
Correct your spelling
great
if, a person who
study
Change the verb form
studies
show examples
or have good occupation they must to stay their
country
for all the time and retired there. .These days , All
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
pursuit
Replace the word
pursue
show examples
to get better than yesterday. So , If we want to have a diagram
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
first day of our career or school the diagram just
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
up around. One thing that
people
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
to move
Change preposition
to other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
is opportunity. In your
mind
Add a comma
mind,
show examples
there is a question ,
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
who can motivate our professionals same as doctors and engineers
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
They
live
Correct your spelling
leave
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
home for equal
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
to have more
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
,
bonus
Fix the agreement mistake
bonuses
show examples
and
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
and respect
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
job. They offer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
advanced training for
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
field and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of important
people
they think they are efficient
to get
Change preposition
in getting
show examples
better
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
and more . .On the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
hand , some
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
and
people
don’t
like
Verb problem
want
show examples
to lose their genius and just embrace they should stay here . They say there is
fact
Add an article
the fact
a fact
show examples
if they have good
occasion
Fix the agreement mistake
occasions
show examples
or bad they should stay in their hometown for
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
. But ,
convince
Wrong verb form
convinced
show examples
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
bad for
myself
Correct pronoun usage
me
show examples
and all
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who wants
show examples
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
to immigrate
Change preposition
to other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
because we lose professional
people
and teenagers take up to immigrate same as other
people
in
this
situation we
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
all
idler
Fix the agreement mistake
idlers
show examples
in
country
Add an article
a country
the country
show examples
not
Correct word choice
and not
show examples
important
people
, Most of the time we should seek information to get better. In my opinion , if you want to have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
society , we should have contentment about
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and education and help them to catch it in their achieve a goal. But , we should have an efficient way to keep
this
problem. We should have
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
option for career and
studying
Change the verb form
study
show examples
or training we give them
motivated
Replace the word
motivation
show examples
to stay or they choose where want to stay.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay contains several grammar and punctuation errors which can make it difficult to understand your points clearly. Focus on improving your sentence structure and grammar to make your essay easier to read.
task achievement
Your arguments could benefit from more specific examples. Adding concrete examples to illustrate your points will help strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next one. Sometimes your ideas seem a bit disjointed, so make sure to use transition words to connect your thoughts better.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, which shows a balanced approach to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skill shortage
  • Career mobility
  • Global workforce
  • Economic impact
  • Training investment
  • Professional freedom
  • Job satisfaction
  • Career goals
  • Skill transfer
  • Global standards
  • Innovation
  • Knowledge sharing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: