Some people think that to be successful in sports natural ability is the main important reason others think that hard work and practice is more important Discuss both views with opinion

To commence,many individuals
beleive
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believe
that being successful in
sports
in
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is
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only dependent on your natural abilities but others think that passion and hard
work
is
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are
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the main
reason
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reasons
show examples
to be successful in every
field
of life.in
this
essay
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essay,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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will discuss both points and give my own opinion as
move
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a move
the move
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towards
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the
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conculsion
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conclusion
. First of all,many people enter in
supports
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support
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because they have family support and belong to
sports
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a sports
show examples
background.They have
natural
Add an article
a natural
the natural
show examples
ability
to absorb
atheletic
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athletic
skills since childhood and they mainly follow their parents to do
such
activities.
For example
,a
sports man
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sportsman
show examples
always
wish
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wishes
show examples
his kids
come
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to come
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in
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into
show examples
same
Add an article
the same
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field
and take it as
professionSsuch
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professions such
people
thought
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are thought
show examples
to be more
success
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successful
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because they have
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a
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natural
ability
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abilities
show examples
that
provide
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provides
show examples
a head
startin
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start in
sports
due to
inherent physical
advantagesor
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advantages
advantages or
naturalaffinity
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natural affinity
for skills,as many
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
have more
potentiol
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potential
to workout and run fast than others,so with less
pracyice
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practice
they are able to get more
success
in
this
field
.
On the other hand
,natural abilities alone are not enough to become succeed in
sports
.It is observed in many cases that with hardship,compassion and resilience
any
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apply
show examples
one
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anyone
show examples
can get the highest rank in
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
.If
some one
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someone
show examples
take
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takes
show examples
it as
profession
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a profession
show examples
and
give
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gives
show examples
their best to attain their aims they are more
dominent
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dominant
in society ,because
the
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apply
show examples
hard
work
and practice cultivate discipline and strategic thinking,which are key
component
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components
show examples
of
long term
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long-term
show examples
success
in
sports
.
For instance
,there are numerous individuals who may not have had
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
ability
in
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the atheletics
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atheletics
Correct your spelling
athletics
field
but
acheived
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achieved
success
through
relentlesseffort
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relentless effort
and
well structured
Add a hyphen
well-structured
show examples
training regimes.
To conclude
,some
sports
may require
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a combinition
show examples
combinition
Correct your spelling
combination
of natural and hard
work
to succeed in the
sports
.In my point of view ,if
some one
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someone
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
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not have
inherent
Add an article
the inherent
show examples
ability
they can be successful in
sports
with hard
work
and compassion and enjoy it for
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of their life.
Submitted by atiya.noureen21 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical progression. You should work on smoothly transitioning from one idea to the next to make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more impactful. Try rephrasing them to clearly state the purpose of the essay and your conclusive viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clear but could be better supported with more detailed evidence. Outside examples and more in-depth explanations will make your essay stronger.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and discussed both views. However, your points could be clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Your ideas are there, but they need to be articulated more clearly and concisely.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples, but try to include more specific scenarios or studies to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which is a great structural foundation for your essay.
task achievement
The essay discusses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to addressing the prompt.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant to the topic and add value to your arguments.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Natural ability
  • Inherent advantage
  • Affluent to
  • Dedication
  • Rigorous practice
  • Peak performance
  • Cultivate discipline
  • Resilience
  • Strategic thinking
  • Structured training regimes
  • Relentless effort
  • Combination
  • Specific demands
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