The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Technology
crime
impacts everyone around the world so governments
have to protect their population from this
issue. I strongly agree that the government must prevent digital scams because of the capability of technology
and generation.
Most people
use the internet
to support their lifestyle, but most of them do not have professional
skills to fix problems from digital Correct article usage
the professional
crime
. Although
the internet
provides a lot of benefits, digital issues come from digital technology
too. The number of scammers
has been increasing rapidly while
ordinary people
do not have high skills to protect themselves from issues. For example
, some Thai people
have stolen their money
from the
bank accounts without accessing Change the word
their
to
any links or applications because of Change preposition
apply
high-skill
Correct article usage
the high-skill
technology
of crime
. Thus
, governments
which are national organizations, have to fix problems instead
of individuals.
Moreover
, some generations face scammers
without any questions because they trust anything on the internet
easily, especially; the elder group. This
generation always clicks any link that looks like gives benefits for
them. Change preposition
to
However
, most links hide scammers
in the back of advantage websites or applications that look encouraging to older people
. This
group followed the steps that scammers
provided on the screen and then
they lost their saving money
. This
is a huge issue because some people
lost
all of their Wrong verb form
lose
money
. For instance
, Thai older people
lost their money
in their bank accounts because they clicked a link on the Tic Tok application. Governments
can force the banks to develop their safety systems to prevent any crimes.
In conclusion, I believe that governments
and some national organizations, which have many professionals in technology
, have to protect their population from internet
crime
rather than leave individuals to face digital criminals by themselves.Submitted by baby11mystar on
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introduction-conclusion-present
Try to craft a more compelling introduction and conclusion to give a strong starting and ending point to your essay. Round off your arguments clearly directed to the topic.
supported-main-points
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported and elaborated with detailed examples or explanations.
logical-structure
Work on linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly for better flow and clarity. Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively.
relevant-specific-examples
Good use of relevant and specific examples, particularly from Thailand, to support your points.
clear-comprehensive-ideas
The main ideas are clear and relevant to the topic, demonstrating a strong understanding.
complete-response
The response addresses the task effectively, presenting a coherent argument for the government's involvement in internet safety.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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