The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #control #internet #cyber #crime #safety #users

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Technology

Use synonyms

crime

Use synonyms

impacts everyone around the world so

governments

Use synonyms

have to protect their population from

this

Linking Words

issue. I strongly agree that the government must prevent digital scams because of the capability of

technology

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and generation. Most

people

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use the

internet

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to support their lifestyle, but most of them do not have

professional

Correct article usage

the professional

show examples

skills to fix problems from digital

crime

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

the

internet

Use synonyms

provides a lot of benefits, digital issues come from digital

technology

Use synonyms

too. The number of

scammers

Use synonyms

has been increasing rapidly

while

Linking Words

ordinary

people

Use synonyms

do not have high skills to protect themselves from issues.

For example

Linking Words

, some Thai

people

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have stolen their

money

Use synonyms

from

the

Change the word

their

show examples

bank accounts without accessing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any links or applications because of

high-skill

Correct article usage

the high-skill

show examples

technology

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crime

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

governments

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which are national organizations, have to fix problems

instead

Linking Words

of individuals.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some generations face

scammers

Use synonyms

without any questions because they trust anything on the

internet

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easily, especially; the elder group.

This

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generation always clicks any link that looks like gives benefits

for

Change preposition

show examples

them.

However

Linking Words

, most links hide

scammers

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in the back of advantage websites or applications that look encouraging to older

people

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This

Linking Words

group followed the steps that

scammers

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provided on the screen and

then

Linking Words

they lost their saving

money

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is a huge issue because some

people

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lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

all of their

money

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For instance

Linking Words

, Thai older

people

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lost their

money

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in their bank accounts because they clicked a link on the Tic Tok application.

Governments

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can force the banks to develop their safety systems to prevent any crimes. In conclusion, I believe that

governments

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and some national organizations, which have many professionals in

technology

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, have to protect their population from

internet

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crime

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rather than leave individuals to face digital criminals by themselves.

Submitted by baby11mystar on Thu May 30 2024

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introduction-conclusion-present

Try to craft a more compelling introduction and conclusion to give a strong starting and ending point to your essay. Round off your arguments clearly directed to the topic.

supported-main-points

Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported and elaborated with detailed examples or explanations.

logical-structure

Work on linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly for better flow and clarity. Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively.

relevant-specific-examples

Good use of relevant and specific examples, particularly from Thailand, to support your points.

clear-comprehensive-ideas

The main ideas are clear and relevant to the topic, demonstrating a strong understanding.

complete-response

The response addresses the task effectively, presenting a coherent argument for the government's involvement in internet safety.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cybercrime
regulations
monitoring
suspicious activities
internet safety
user trust
e-commerce
censorship
freedom of speech
access to information
over-regulation
innovation
tech industry
data protection
identity theft
financial fraud
technical limitations
digital landscape

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The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

In order to learn the way other people in the world lives, it is better to look at film and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that money is the best gift to give to youngster while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a child's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion .