Some people think that advertisements are good for society whereas others oppose this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The advertising market is growing
dy
day by day. That situation Correct your spelling
by
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
of
a lot of discussions. Change preposition
apply
While
some people
claim that advertisement
are good for Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
people
, the
other Correct article usage
apply
people
have opposing view
. I strongly agree with the second part and in Fix the agreement mistake
views
this
essay, both views will be discussed and my own opinion will be stated.
On the one hand, advertisement
may be beneficial for society because if there Add an article
the advertisement
an advertisement
aren’t
advertising on the internet or on Correct subject-verb agreement
isn’t
the
TV, can’t be sold several Correct article usage
apply
product
. The Change to a plural noun
products
products
which are new should be advertised because people
want to see and learn products
which they buy. According to
research conducted, at first,
people
see products
which were they bought then
they buy these outputs(64)
On the other hand
, advertising are
not beneficial to Change the verb form
is
people
because they don’t reflect the truth. Products
are showed
under false colours. Change the form of the verb
shown
The
showed Correct your spelling
They
products
very diffrent
from real life. Correct your spelling
different
The society
Correct article usage
Society
be
persuaded by Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Add an article
the advertiser
an advertiser
advertiser
. Fix the agreement mistake
advertisers
People
don’t
Verb problem
aren’t
be
pleased with Verb problem
apply
products
which
see Correct pronoun usage
that they
from
advertisements. Change preposition
in
For example
, most hamburger advertising show
like Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
titanic
but Capitalize word
Titanic
in
real hamburgers Change preposition
apply
very
small and not delicious.(63)
I hold the view thatAdd a missing verb
are very
,
Remove the comma
apply
advertisement
are not helpful to Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
people
because people
are encouraged to do harmful things. Especially children are encouraged with
colourful advertisements. There are a lot of poor Change preposition
by
family
and everyone can’t reach to these Change to a plural noun
families
products
. According to
research conducted, children be
inclined to junk food and fast food cause of Wrong verb form
are
advertisings
.
Fix the agreement mistake
advertising
To sum up
, advertisement
market is an object at issue. There are Correct article usage
the advertisement
people
have
different Correct pronoun usage
who have
thought
about that topic.Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
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task achievement
The essay attempts to address both views and includes an introduction and conclusion, which is positive. However, there are several areas for improvement. Ensure your arguments are fully developed and supported with clear, specific examples. The essay should also address the prompt more directly in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on creating a more logical structure. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Transitional phrases can help with this. Additionally, there were instances where sentences could be more connected and the arguments linked more clearly.
general
Focus on grammar and vocabulary accuracy. There were multiple grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can be clarified. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Consider practicing with more IELTS-style model essays to better understand the expected structure and language.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear discussion of both views, which is an important part of the task. You also clearly state your own opinion and attempt to support it.
coherence cohesion
There is a recognizable introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.