Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve our mind health, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest our mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There
a
lot of Add a missing verb
is a
contraversy
about how people should Correct your spelling
controversy
spent
their free Change the verb form
spend
time
. Some individuals consider that it is essential to do world
puzzles or reading Correct your spelling
word
for
Change preposition
to
impoving
their mental health. Correct your spelling
improving
While
another part of Correct article usage
the sitizens
sitizens
argued that leisure Correct your spelling
citizens
time
must be include
a rest. Change the verb form
include
i
agree both of these opinions, linking to both given situations have Change the capitalization
I
usefull
sides. Correct your spelling
useful
This
essay will be discusses
both moments.
Spent leisure Wrong verb form
discuss
time
with useful activities is good
idea. It Change the article
a good
improve
people`s education degree. Change the verb form
improves
For instance
, according to
the questionnare
, persons who combine rest with knowledge activity Correct your spelling
questionnaire
fell
more self -satisfaction than others.
Correct your spelling
feel
One
the other hand, people have to forget all problems and deals, when they relax. It leads to good productive work and close Correct your spelling
On
relationship
with family members or Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
collegues
. Correct your spelling
colleagues
by
the opinion of Change preposition
to
psycologists
, individuals, who can relax and do meditation, live more than others. Correct your spelling
psychologists
According to
statistics Japanese speend
their free Correct your spelling
spend
time
without intellectual activities, and they are the most longlive
people.
In my opinion, it Correct your spelling
long live
long-lived
depend
on Change the verb form
depends
character
and style of people`s life. who work a lot or hard, I would Correct article usage
the character
recomend
Correct your spelling
recommend
to have
leisure Change the verb form
having
time
without any activities. However
, if someone find
Change the verb form
finds
plesure
in improving Correct your spelling
pleasure
mind
health, and it makes Replace the word
mental
happy
, Correct pronoun usage
them happy
i
think it will Change the capitalization
I
be
give a good result.Unnecessary verb
apply
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Grammar and Spelling
Try to reduce small spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity, such as 'contraversy' to 'controversy' and 'spent' to 'spend'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay should have more logically connected ideas. Make sure every argument and example directly support your point.
Task Response
Adding more relevant examples would make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Task Response
You've presented both views which shows you understand the debate topic.
Conclusion
You have provided your opinion clearly in the conclusion, which is good.
General Clarity
Your sentences are relatively clear and easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.