Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve our mind health, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest our mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #health #word #puzzles #rest

There

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is a

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lot of

contraversy

Correct your spelling

controversy

about how people should

spent

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spend

show examples

their free

time

. Some individuals consider that it is essential to do

world

Correct your spelling

word

show examples

puzzles or reading

for

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show examples

impoving

Correct your spelling

improving

their mental health.

While

another part of

Correct article usage

the sitizens

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sitizens

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citizens

argued that leisure

time

must

be include

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include

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a rest.

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agree both of these opinions, linking to both given situations have

usefull

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useful

sides.

This

essay will

be discusses

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discuss

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both moments. Spent leisure

time

with useful activities is

good

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a good

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idea. It

improve

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improves

show examples

people`s education degree.

For instance

according to

the

questionnare

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questionnaire

, persons who combine rest with knowledge activity

fell

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feel

show examples

more self -satisfaction than others.

One

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show examples

the other hand, people have to forget all problems and deals, when they relax. It leads to good productive work and close

relationship

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relationships

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with family members or

collegues

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colleagues

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show examples

the opinion of

psycologists

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psychologists

, individuals, who can relax and do meditation, live more than others.

According to

statistics Japanese

speend

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spend

their free

time

without intellectual activities, and they are the most

longlive

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long live

long-lived

people. In my opinion, it

depend

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depends

show examples

character

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the character

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and style of people`s life. who work a lot or hard, I would

recomend

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recommend

to have

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having

show examples

leisure

time

without any activities.

However

, if someone

find

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finds

show examples

plesure

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pleasure

in improving

mind

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mental

show examples

health, and it makes

happy

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them happy

show examples

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think it will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

give a good result.

Submitted by nook.cooks.hook.uz on Thu May 30 2024

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Grammar and Spelling

Try to reduce small spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity, such as 'contraversy' to 'controversy' and 'spent' to 'spend'.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay should have more logically connected ideas. Make sure every argument and example directly support your point.

Task Response

Adding more relevant examples would make your argument stronger and more persuasive.

Task Response

You've presented both views which shows you understand the debate topic.

Conclusion

You have provided your opinion clearly in the conclusion, which is good.

General Clarity

Your sentences are relatively clear and easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

212 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve our mind health, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest our mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems.Do you agree or disagree?

Billions of dollars are spent on Space research every year. Instead, this money could be used to improve living conditions of people on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The illustration below shows the process of tying a bow tie. Write a report explaining to a university lecturer how to tie his bow tie.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?